14 Men Reveal Why They Cheated On The ‘Love Of Their Life’
Married for more than 25 years, and have had multiple affairs during that time. Some of them lasted for years. Why?
By 
Brittany Cox
Responses originally published on Reddit
1.
I don’t even know honestly. Young, dumb, and drunk I guess. It was tough but I told her the next day. Things were rough for a while but we got through it. I don’t drink without her now. I tend to be pretty calm and mild throughout the day but the moment I start drinking it turns into a shit storm and I have no idea why.
2.
We were together for 5 years. We had been friends for several years before dating. We lived together, bought a house together and had a daughter together. Prior to our daughter we had a very active sex life.
After our daughter was born, we hardly ever had sex, even after she got the OK from the doctor to resume sexual activity. It was once, maybe twice a month, and only if she initiated. All of my advances were shut down, often met with rather extreme and aggressive responses on her part. I was frustrated and rejected. This went on for a couple years.
She cheated on me. She was having cyber sex sessions on chatroulette and Skype. She would go to bed with me, wait for me to fall asleep, and then get out of bed and take her laptop to the living room and fuck herself on cam for random internet strangers. When I found this out, I was devastated. She would rather jerk off for random dudes on the internet than fuck her boyfriend in the next room. My self esteem had never been lower.
Eventually we reconciled, went to couples counseling and all that. I was holding on because I came from a broken family and I wanted better for my daughter. She didn’t put any effort into fixing things pretty much from the start. Before long she quit counseling and stopped all the techniques and things we had learned. I should have left then, but I continued to hang on. We acted like everything was okay, but I know I was miserable. I started to mentally check out of the relationship. I’m sure she had mentally checked out a long time ago. But I held on for my daughter’s sake. I thought it was what was best. There was no sex, no affection, no love.
I don’t know when or why I decided to do it, but one day I signed up for tinder. I consider myself a little bit above average in the looks department. I got a few matches, had some decent conversations with a few girls, although it was mostly surface and small talk. The attention felt great and my once shattered self esteem was getting a much needed boost even though it was all very innocent.
And then I matched with her. She was the exact opposite of my gf in every aspect – looks, personality, interests. She was mixed race with dark curly hair and green eyes. Her body was insane. She was gorgeous. She was funny and interesting and loved all the same things as me. She asked to meet up for coffee and I agreed.
We chatted for several hours. We had a connection. We had chemistry. We went on a few more “dates” until one day she invited me back to her place and fucked me like I’ve never been fucked before. The sex was insane. I was hooked. I would tell my gf various excuses to get out of the house and go fuck this other girl a couple times a week.
I kept at it for several months. Eventually, I found out my gf cheated on me again, this time physically with a coworker. It was rather hypocritical of me, I know, but I broke up with her for good after I found out.
As far as I know, she still doesn’t know I cheated during our period of “reconciliation.” Or at least she has never let on that she knows.
I don’t feel bad or guilty about doing it, either. It gave me a huge boost in my self esteem, and I had by far the best sex of my life. If that makes me a shitty person, then so be it.
3.
Definitely more than once. I’m really not good in relationships. It wasn’t always that way. It’s just that the first two women I was with cheated on me with a friend (different friend), both of whom told me about it later. I found that I didn’t hate them one bit, I didn’t even really have hate for the women, just felt hurt.
I guess I developed a mindset that if I couldn’t trust women and they were likely to do it again in the future, I might as well not deprive myself. I grew rather cold and indifferent to the whole concept of monogamy.
I thought once I got married that would all change. I mean before, we were just dating or whatever but now, this is a real commitment. Then I found out after 4 years of marriage that my wife had cheated on me while I was in Iraq. Hell, it was with a girl that the two of us had a threesome with right before I left. I would have gladly given her my consent to have a sexual relationship with that woman while I was gone, but it was the deceit that killed it for me. I found myself once again growing cold towards the thought of what she might be doing whenever we weren’t together. I assumed she was probably cheating on me again but since I would probably never find out I just dismissed the thoughts as soon as they popped up.
I had this smoking hot, young coworker who would drift conversations to inappropriate topics and she sent me a few sexy pics and texts, but I kept things rather professional with her. I didn’t tell her what she was doing was unwelcome, but I also didn’t encourage her behavior either.
Then, one day, my wife made plans to go down to the Outer Banks with her friend for a Jeep rally. I skyped her one evening as she was getting ready to go to sleep. She was in the bedroom of the hotel “getting ready” for bed as most women do and she accidentally panned the phone a bit too far to the left and I saw her friend already under the blankets with her tits hanging out on top of the blankets. I think my wife kinda knew, but I played it off as I didn’t see anything, told her I loved her and to have a good night. I then texted that hot, young coworker and didn’t regret it or really feel anything negative about the entire experience, just great sex with someone new.
4.
Long distance relationship. I was not the most caring or appreciative partner. Went out with friends. Very sexually aggressive girl came onto me. Went home with her.
Felt awful afterwards. Confessed to everything even though I easily could have avoided being caught. Tried to salvage the relationship but it just didn’t work.
Considering how terrible it made me feel and how much pain I caused someone else, I don’t think I’d do it again.
Why’d I do it? Basically I guess a long distance relationship gets lonely, particularly one with its own share of lingering problems. And when an opportunity presents itself it can be very hard to turn down.
I maintain a friendship with the ex now. She’s married and lives in a different state. We’ve come to terms with our relationship’s failings. The collapse of it really led me to a lot of soul searching that changed the way I approached dealing with people. She’s good people, and deserved better than the person I was at the time.
5.
I was dating a great girl. Went to a function with friends not including her. She flirted, kissed me, I kissed back. I regret it. Didn’t tell her. I’m a shitty person.
— zennegen
6.
Dated all through high school and it was the summer after senior year. Things have been going down hill and I see her kiss someone at a beach party. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back so I walked back to my house and had sex with her best friend. And then proceeded to sleep with 4 other girls that summer before we broke up to go to college.
7.
I was falling out of love with her and in love with someone else. Luckily I did not go too far until I realized I was that asshole and broke it off with my ex before I continued.
Still in a relationship with the girl I cheated on my ex with after 6 and a half years so at least I know I made the right decision to move on, but the feeling of cheating on someone is awful and I wouldn’t ever do it again
8.
Because I’m a sex addict. Yes, it’s a thing. No, I didn’t self-diagnose.
I’m not going to sit here and say that it’s not my fault. I may have an issue, a problem, a sickness, or whatever you want to call it. I also have the ability to correct it, and I don’t. So at the end of the day I no one but myself to blame.
It started really small, I’d flirt with people when I was with my SO. Her former marriage was open and we’d agreed that our relationship should be, too. In three years I had one disclosed liaison with her knowledge. Between kids and work neither of us had time for anything else. Then it snowballed into stuff via text, Skype, and finally Craigslist meet ups.
Fast forward a few years and into the next few relationships. I still do all of these things. And it doesn’t matter who it is, could be a woman, a man, or masturbating so much that I’m sore or miss appointments. I’m going to be sick until I decide I want to get better. And I do, because I know that I am never going to have a normal relationship until I can fix myself. All I can say in my defense is that I can’t help myself when the moment strikes.
9.
Because I had been interested in the person I cheated with for far longer and it felt worth it. Looking back, even though it cost me the relationship, it was worth it.
My current relationships just stay open, cause that’s easier.
— Skeldal
10.
Recently dumped by an amazing girl. Was single for 3 years , of my own choice, and she was the first one in that time that made me want to date someone.
I was upset and a bit stressed over some events in the day, stuff I ended up just imagining .
A girl from my past sent me some nude snap chats, haven’t spoken to her in almost a year. I don’t know. I said “fuck it” and started sexting her.
After “the deed” was done, I felt awful, and disgusted that I just was unfaithful to my wonderful S.O. for a few minutes of “pleasure” . I decided to not talk to that girl at all. A few hours later she asked if I had a girlfriend, after going through my facebook and instagram photos. I told her yes, and she told me she’s sending everything to my girlfriend. My girlfriend didn’t find out for 3 days, all while I was freaking out and asking everyone how I should handle it. I had a huge date day planned for us after a final for one of her college classes, and I had decided (before cheating) that I wanted her to know my phone password and other passwords, to know that I had nothing to hide. I had planned to tell her I loved her, after she had said it to me in the past and I told her I felt uncomfortable saying those words to most people .
The night before she finally saw the message, and told me we were done and that she wanted some money back she let me borrow (already planned on paying her back haha we both did that from time to time..) also the concert tickets she bought for us. I begged to meet up and discuss things. The conversation didn’t go well , she broke up with me, and after I refused to give her a hug goodbye I sped off to my apartment 30 minutes away.
11.
Married for more than 25 years, and have had multiple affairs during that time. Some of them lasted for years.
Why? Mostly due to a lack of sex from my wife and a need to feel wanted/attractive. Honestly, having affairs are probably a big part of the reason I’m still married to her. When things were at the worst between us, the affairs helped to keep me level.
Many of the women I slept with were very good friends of hers. There were only a couple who didn’t know her at all, but all of them knew I was married before anything happened. Big tip for anyone thinking of cheating – never hide your relationship from the person you’re cheating with.
12.
I was horny. That’s all.
I’m still horny, but I don’t do it anymore.
13.
hmmm I cheated because I am a dick I guess, for me I really liked to have a woman that is in control of her future, and not just wanting the Mrs. Degree. The girl I was with was all about hey I can’t wait to be a mom with your kids and stuff like that, and how she hated work and just wants to be a housewife. I didn’t really like that so I started going on tinder and found a girl who is a lawyer.
We talked and hit it off, eventually after months I dumped my previous gf, for this new one. And that is when I stopped cheating. And no, neither of them know there was another girl in my life while I was with them (My previous ex I just said I didn’t feel we connected or whatever)
14.
First time visiting (me and the wife were LDR for 3 years) we go to a party, I am beyond drunk and chilling on the couch, wife gets up to go to the bathroom and her friend jumps in my lap out of nowhere and makes out with me, i felt like shit and told her a few days later.
She “broke up with me” to teach me a lesson with all intentions to take me back ( i deserved it) but I didn’t know that until later, worst two days of my life
