All The Heartbreak Is Worth It, For An Instant With You

Each time I smile
every second
that my chest swells with love
I am aware
of the murky kernel of heartbreak
hidden inside
that moment of perfection

To love completely
is to lose.

To give yourself
is to embrace your destruction

In the end
there is no other
possible
outcome
Nobody beats this gloomy mandate
No one escapes

Do I have the courage
to put it all down
on red?
When I know for certain
that, sooner or later
the wheel will spin
and the ball will fall
on black

Yes, goddamn it , yes, I say yes.

That is the secret, you see?
Love ain’t no pop song
or a Hallmark card
Love is messy and ugly
and frightening and hard
and doomed and undignified
and can’t possibly end
any other way
than in death
devastation
desolation

And so fucking worth
every single iota
of discomfort and pain.

Love isn’t simple
or easy

Love is saying
I will march to my ruin
with open eyes
with head held high
that to tear out my heart
still bloody and beating
and to witness, unblinking
as it’s dashed on the rocks
is a small price to pay
for an instant with you.