6 Steps To Protect All Men From Dating Feminists

It’s every man’s worst nightmare: the date is going well. The girl is like a solid 8, the lighting is dimmed, the dinner was cooked to perfection. You’ve name dropped what company you’ve worked for at least three times (effortlessly) and she almost made eye contact with you when you spent 15 minutes explaining CrossFit to her. You’re so getting laid.

But, oh. What’s this? Did she just say something that could suggest she supports gender equality?

We all know feminism is an excuse for women to hate men. This guy posted about it on the internet, so it’s gotta be true. So if your date mentions anything wild like wage gaps or consent, you know you’re dealing with one of those crazy man-haters.

What, is she now going to tell you she doesn’t wear bras too? Stop the madness, nipples make you uncomfortable.

1. Remind her of the facts. This one guy says he disagrees there’s a wage gap. Did he analyze data or even talk to real life woman to get that answer? Hell no, he just watched a YouTube video. You sort of skimmed the comments section. Case closed.

2. Talk about how society actually fails men more. Brock Turner had a very promising swimming career. Maybe throw in the word “abortion” and let that sit and marinate for a while. Remember how from 1944 to 1950, only men were drafted? That’s because of feminism.

3. Point out that women have a ton of privileges. They get free drinks at bars. Probably some other stuff too, you just can’t sit there and come up with them all right now—but ~*~the boat goes both ways~*~.

4. Explain that sometimes feminists can be really, really mean. It’s so unfair. And not just from your personal experience—show her a subreddit of all the men who support you in saying that women are only out to get your money and children. Because what else would women want other that those two things? A job? Equal pay? Rights?

5. Shrug and say it’s really the feminists’ fault all women seem so miserable all the time. They’re causing a rift! Marriages, the most important part of a woman’s life and the only thing she lives for, are falling apart. Feminism is self-sabotage, and you, a man, will definitely not stand for it!

6. Write an article about how you will never date a feminist. Every woman across the internet is definitely wondering what type of woman you’re into—you’re a man from Missouri for goodness sake!—let ’em know! You’re not going to go after some educated woman who obviously had “a previous bad experience” that made her wonder why she wasn’t getting equal treatment or attention like her male counterparts. Stop drawing lines between us, women! It’s making romance hard!