The Truth About Millennials Is That We’re All Giant Hypocrites

Many of my articles are focused on the millennial generation – and I have mixed feelings toward my proclivity to do this. On the one hand, it generates a larger viewership (even if those are just courtesy “likes” – I still appreciate you). On the other hand, sometimes I feel like a god damn broken record.

However, in an effort to set myself apart from producing generic articles such as “Why Dating As a Millennial is Super Shitty” or “An Open Letter to my Almost-Boyfriend/Ex-BFF/That Guy Who Ghosted Me” (Seriously – can this “open letter” trend die already?), I instead aim to shamelessly roast my generation – and to never hold back.

Today, I have decided to discuss how millennial women contradict themselves in just about every aspect of life. Here we go:

We complain when guys don’t take us on dates – then when we do get asked, we complain about having to actually go.

Wait… women complain a lot? You’re kidding! All jokes aside, there is a good chance that we have all been in this situation at least once. You’ll claim that you want to spend more time with a guy and get to know him better – then when he finally asks you out to dinner, you’re thinking of every excuse not to go.

If this seems downright illogical, it’s because it is. A lot of it has to do with fear – which we disguise by saying we “have nothing to wear” or “it’s just too much effort.” Nah, let’s cut the bullshit and face the truth: We’re all just scared of getting screwed over.

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean we should immediately agree to a date with anyone who asks – but sometimes pushing through the initial awkward silences does prove to be worth it in the end.

We make fun of people who overshare on Facebook – but broadcast our every move on Snapchat.

“Ugh, no one cares about your engagement!” We scream furiously at our computer screens.

Five minutes later we’re snapping a mirror selfie with the caption “Fridayyy” and a bunch of alcohol emojis.

Honestly, we all slightly take a sick pleasure in showing off our accomplishments (or attractiveness?) to the social media world. Of course, some take this to new extremes – but that’s what the “remove from newsfeed” feature is for. (Keep this in mind when you’re sick of me sharing my articles that you don’t care about.)

We pride ourselves on having our shit together – yet refer to ourselves as a “hot mess” on a frequent basis.

Whether it’s snagging that promotion or just getting positive recognition for a project we handled, advancing in our career is something that we take very seriously. Do you know what else we take very seriously? Dipping out at 5 o’clock on the dot every Fridayand heading straight to happy hour. Essentially, we’re in that weird place in our lives where some days we feel like we’re “adulting”, and other days we have completely forgotten how to be a functioning member of society.

Although I don’t necessarily want to allude to those “get you a girl who can do both” memes that seem to be popping up everywhere – finding that healthy balance between work and play is actually pretty crucial. Stay motivated, but enjoy yourself as well – and that includes making fun of yourself for being the self-sabotaging, oversharing, hot mess that you are.