If You’re Not Sad In A Relationship, Then You’re Not With The Right Person

“If you’re not sad in a relationship then you’re not in the right one.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just, if you’re with the right person, if you’re with someone who changes your life, and who enlivens you — you’re not going to be happy every single day. You’re going to be sad, anxious even, that there could ever be a time where you didn’t feel that way. Love is this incredible thing, this intangible feeling that swells within you, it gifts you these crystallizing moments of appreciation and gratitude, these overwhelming oceans that build within your chest, constantly reminding you that you have something to lose. When you’re in love you always have something to lose, and that’s sad. That’s harrowing. That’s why love keeps you up at midnight, that’s why love lives as a lump in your throat sometimes.

And I know that people will furrow their brow when they hear me say that. I know that they’ll scrunch their nose and roll their eyes, because people believe that you would never fear losing someone if you were with the right person. People believe that such a worry wouldn’t exist within a confident relationship, but I don’t agree there.

See, I think you should always love someone like you are going to lose them. I think you shouldn’t ever get comfortable. You should buy the person you love flowers just because it is Tuesday. You shouldn’t assume that they know you care just because you tell them. You need to show them. You shouldn’t ever stop showing someone that you choose them, that your heart has picked them above all else; that you’re willing to fight, to push, to fall in love with them every single day.”