You Are Allowed To Change

You are allowed to change.

Your love is allowed to change. Don’t stay in a relationship you are committed to just because you have invested time into it. Don’t stay with someone who is not expanding in the same direction as you. If you are learning about yourself, if you are experiencing new things and flourishing inside, so is your heart; and your heart is allowed to recognize that, at a certain point in time, it may deserve something different than it once wanted. You are allowed to change your mind about the person you want to sleep beside; you are allowed to change your mind about the person you want to share your life with.

Your appearance is allowed to change. Do not let people tell you that loving yourself, and learning how to feel confident in who you are and what you look like, is conceited. You are not narcissistic, you are not high maintenance, you are not superficial, for doing things that make you feel empowered. If changing your hair, or going to the gym more, or putting on makeup, or dressing in clothes you have always wanted to wear, has inspired you to fall back in love with yourself, then you should be proud of what you are doing. In a society that benefits and profits off of your insecurity, liking yourself is your greatest rebellion — and you should never apologize for that.

Your passion is allowed to change. You are allowed to decide that you want to pursue a different degree, or career, or lifestyle. You are allowed to go from Science to Art if you have always known deep down inside that your hands were made for painting. You are allowed to focus on something you may have never given the time of day to because you were simply listening to what was expected of you. You are allowed to take your time figuring out what truly sets your heart on fire. You are allowed to be more than your degree, more than your plan. You are allowed to rebuild your dreams. You are allowed to start over.

The people in your life who truly matter will never admonish you for changing. Instead, they will build you up; they will inspire and motivate you. They will understand that you are striving to be more for yourself, and they will admire you for that; because at the end of the day, change is something you should never be ashamed of. You don’t owe anyone an apology for changing. You don’t owe anyone an apology for being different than you were a year ago, for wanting new things. Remember, growth is a direction, not a destination — so follow it ruthlessly; give yourself permission to be who you have always wanted to be.

Read more writing like this in Bianca Sparacino’s book Seeds Planted In Concrete here.