1. The Perfect Crime

Eight hours into the thirteen hour flight from JFK to Dubai. After that much time in the air, the FAs are taking a break and most of the people are sleeping. The bigger “handicapped” lavatory is up near the flight deck of the A380. She walked into the lavatory and left the door unlocked. I waited a few minutes and then followed her in. After cleaning up, I walked out and she followed a couple minutes after that. The perfect crime.

2. Busted AF

One of the most mortifying moments of my life was getting caught doing this. My gf at the time and I really wanted to try, so we booked seats on a redeye, thinking no-one would pay us any mind. She went into the bathroom, and I joined her a minute later. I go in, and since we have been whispering about it and thinking about it for weeks I am hard and she is wet. I put it in and BAM BAM BAM the fucking stewardess is banging on the door and saying “Come out right now! I know what you are doing in there!” We look at each other in horror and I instantly lose my erection. We button ourselves up and skulk out to major stinkeye from everyone sitting nearby (several people were woken up by the stewardess banging on the door/yelling). Had to sit through the rest of the flight with blue balls and extreme shame. The stewardess pointed us out to the captain as we were getting off the flight. 1/5 would not repeat.

3. On The Red Eye

Red-eye flight. It was before 9/11 happened so flight crews weren’t nearly as vigilant. Lights went out. Everyone around us was asleep. We were spooning under a large blanket and she lifted up her skirt. Achievement unlocked.

4. Planning Ahead

I told the flight staff before boarding my gf at the time needed help using the rest room because of personal issues. I also informed them we are highly embarrassed about it since on our last flight the crew made a huge deal when we were seen going in together(which is a lie). Near the end of the flight we slipped off into the bathroom and went at it. We’re both pretty small and it was a very hard maneuver to pull off. However it was awesome at the same time. It was hard hiding back a huge grin walking out.

5. “Gastric Bypass”

I feigned a disability and my wife accompanied me into the handicapped toilet on the plane 4 times during the 5 hour flight. Each time she apologized and said it would be either very quick or very long. We went in and made out a bit 3 times for never longer than 2 minutes and I came out gobbled. Then with about an hour to go my wife told the steward, “so sorry dear, this is the one, maybe 15 minutes while I help him with his post dinner bowel movement and cleanup.”

We fucked for about 15 minutes and the noise was attributed to my gastric bypass. Best blowjob and doggy style ever.

6. SUPER OBVIOUS

Got a blow job on a plane. We were in two seats on the aisle and her head was under a blanket. SUPER OBVIOUS. She only did it for around 5 minutes until too many people started to look. No one bothered to say anything because I guess what would you say.

7. “It Was Fucking Awesome”

I was on my way to Madrid with my then girlfriend, sophomore year in high school, and we sat together in a row of 2 seats on the far right. To the left there was a middle row of 5 seats and a left row of 3. She surprised me by taking a nap on my lap and then proceeding to pull down my pants and blow me. This was extremely awkward for me because the chaperone was sitting directly to the left and behind us. I was so damn paranoid the whole time that people could hear the sucking or see her head moving under the blanket. Hell they probably did. It was fucking awesome though. Minus me trying to finagle my way to the lavatory without getting my victory sauce all over the pants I would be in the rest of the flight.

8. Juices Flowing

My gf at the time and I were very close and comfortable, so when I took her up north to meet my family, I kind of joked around about the subject to plant the seed of thought, inception style. I was working at a Marriott and had snatched a few mini liquor bottles for the flight. A half hour into the flight we each had one shot, which was apparently enough to get our juices a-flowin’. She got up for the bathroom, and I followed a healthy five minutes later, real inconspicuous-like. It was really fast and super hot, got her from behind over the sink and was done in like a minute. We decided it was best to not dawdle afterward, and she got out first, and I followed about a minute later. The flight attendant nearby noticed and said, rather defeatedly, “Come on, guys, really?” Sat back down, watched Batman Begins, didn’t hear another word about it for the rest of the flight. God damn I miss that girl…

9. Mile High And Mile Low

I did this with a very horny but crazy Ex on a college trip to Europe. We were on a busy daytime flight from NY to England. We decided to wait until the flight attendants were busy serving lunch so no one was in the back area where they prepare everything. I went first and told her to meet me a few minutes later and knock. Getting in wasn’t a problem. She was a very petite girl so it wasn’t difficult to have sex doggy style. We quietly, quickly got to it and finished. Everything went great, I even got to watch myself in the mirror for a bit. Only problem was I heard a woman waiting for the bathroom. I thought quickly, got myself together and told my girlfriend to wait a few minutes to leave. I stepped out of the bathroom, closed the door turn to the woman and said, “I took the nastiest dump ever in there. You might want to wait a few minutes. its really bad”. This sweet brunette lady in her forties looked at me laughed and said, “thanks for the warning” and decide to go to another bathroom.

I don’t know about you but if a complete stranger has the courtesy to warn you about the onslaught of shit smell they themselves are responsible for you believe them. I sat back down, my ex met me a moment later and no one was the wiser. I’m sure if we had worse timing this wouldn’t be as successful. That story wouldn’t have work if multiple people were waiting. This is also the same trip I later had sex with her in the Chunnel train on the way to France. The Chunnel is the underground tunnel that runs beneath the English Channel. So I like to tell people I’m in the Mile High/Mile Low Club when the topic comes up. I wonder how many people are in that club? Man that girl was crazy. Who the fuck decided to have a fight in Paris!? “JESUS CHRIST WOMAN!! THIS IS THE CITY OF ROMANCE!!!”, was my favorite quote from that trip.

10. Scotland To Chicago

Transatlantic overnight flight from Scotland to Chicago. When they turned the cabin lights down we went to the back bathroom about a minute apart.

11. Flesh Eating Bacteria

I thought I had gotten away with it, and then I was diagnosed with a flesh eating bacteria on my bum shortly after picking up my luggage at the baggage claim. Coach class bathrooms are bacteria fuck fests.

12. The Crew Does It Too

I used to be a flight attendant. On a flight if a pilot has to pee he comes out, and a flight attendant replaces him/ her in the flight deck for safety. I discovered that the first officer took a pee break on one of my flights so the captains lover/ my co flight attendant could go up front and bang him. They were sly and I had no clue.

13. A True Thrill Seeker

Long flight from China to the US, girlfriend and I just got up and went into the bathroom together. A went down on her until she came, turned her around and went in doggy style. Finished and went back to our seats. If anyone noticed, nobody said anything.

Also had sex in a train lavatory and in a taxi. The taxi driver was happy to watch.

In addition to many blowjobs, also had sex in a cinema. Lifted the armrest and spooned her in our seats. We were sitting in the back and the cinema was half … I’m gonna say half full.

Also, had sex on the Great Wall of China just after sunset.

14. Looking Back, It Was Really Obvious

Study abroad trip to Europe junior year of high school with about 10 class mates including my girlfriend. Incredibly long flight, I finger banged her there and back and she gave me a couple handjob to blowjob. She ended up leaving her wet panties inside the magazine pocket of the seat. Looking back it was incredibly obvious what was going on and I still wonder about who found those panties and what their reaction was.

15. The True Origin Of Autopilot