1. Vagina sounds
That in doggystyle, your vagina is gonna be filled with air and then you’ll queef like there’s no tomorrow.
2. Wilting flower
Partial erections, leaking, how the penis can wilt if foreplay is too long, how genitals can be given too much stimulation.
3. Lots of things
My sex ed classes never actually discussed orgasm; male or female. From the way things were explained:
- Sex feels ok, I guess.
- When a penis is inside a vagina, sperm swim out of the tip continuously.
- A condom slowly fills up with sperm.
- Sex is over when the condom is full.
So, you know, mostly right.
4. Other liquids
I wish they’d spoken about discharge, how normal it is, and how it can be an indicator of where women are in their cycle.
5. This.
That having emotionally safe sex is just as important as having physical safe sex.
6. Stupid diagrams, no real help
Literally anything. Sex ed was a fucking joke at my school. I’m pretty sure it was a week out of a semester long “health” class. I learned nothing. Saw some diagrams of a penis and a vagina and learned about how terrible STDs are. Nothing about consent, same sex intercourse, birth control (I live in the south).
7. What the words mean
What all the sexual and gender terms are, so when someone called me a lesbian in 6th grade I would know what that was before saying “yeah I am, what of it!”
Those mean girls were terrified of me though…thought I had lesbian germs. And my mom was mortified when I came home and told her so she could tell me what a lesbian was.
8. Read this when you have baby fever
The pain after labour isn’t over… the nurses will come and push on your stomach over the next few hours to get out blood clots and it’s super painful.. also your vagina can rip open when giving birth.. which makes peeing feel like acid so you’ll need a water bottle to spray there when you go. Also your insides can feel fucked up for months after.. it also hurts when you haven’t breastfed for a while… hearing any baby cry will make them hurt and make you leak. Out of everything, I absolutely wish I was warned about these things. From what we learned, labour was super painful but it was suppose to be over and happy when it was over.
9. Less lies
It’s the lies about sex that irritated me.
Oh you can’t tell the difference with a condom on.
If you have sex with more than one person you’ll get an std.
There were others.
10. Weird stories to go with lies
My favorite thing from my sex ed class was the guy actually said to us that when you have sex with someone their bodily fluids stay with you for like 10 years so when you have sex with someone who isn’t a virgin they’re giving you someone else’s bodily fluids along with theirs and you’ll be stuck with those for like 10 years so you might as well be drinking out of a cup everyone backwashed in and if you’re not a virgin you’re basically a cup people have backwashed in.
11. Throw out your condoms!
I’m from Texas. I wish I HAD sex ed. They just told us that condoms don’t work and had us volunteer to dispose of ours in a bowl in the front of the room.
12. Awkward stuff
Erectile dysfunction in young men.
13. Some logistical concepts
How far down the vagina is. It’s way lower than you’d expect
14. The pain
How painful periods can truly be and reproductive related disorders (PCOS, endometriosis, amenorrhea, etc.). Also the other side effects surrounding periods like the breast pain and the nausea and migraines. I was not prepared.
15. Practical advice
That if you don’t pee after sex, you’ll get a yeast infection.
16. No advice for gays
Gay sex. Life was kind of scary not knowing what to do and having to use the Internet for everything. This was in early to mid 2000s.
17. LITERALLY anything
Literally anything. In middle school they taught us girls about periods. Then in high school they took us girls to a room and had a guy from the local health department talk to us. He clearly did not realize what he had signed up for. He stammered for a half hour about getting diseases from unclean needles and ignored every sex question we asked. Shockingly (not) half the girls were knocked up before graduation.
18. Clean-up
That if you cum inside the vagina the semen doesn’t just get sucked into the uterus like a UFO and that you actually have to deal with cleaning it up as it leaks out.
