Accurate Tourism Slogans For Several American Cities
Austin, TX: “If you like bands no one has heard of and desert heat, give Austin a chance!”
Salem, NH: “No, we’re not that Salem.”
Sheridan, WY: “Come visit us in your truck! What? You don’t drive a truck? Forget it.”
Brooklyn, NY: “Stay close to a hipster, or you could get murdered! Sorry!”
Columbus, OH: “We’re the capital of Ohio! That’s got to count for something.”
Boston, MA: “We get away with racism because we have gay marriage and foliage!”
Hartford, CT: “Keep driving! You’re halfway through Connecticut!”
Seattle, WA: “Sorry, we’ll try to stop bumming you out by raining and bringing up our exes.”
Portland, OR: “Man up, Seattle — get some strip clubs! Also, tattoos!”
Minneapolis, MN: “Please give us a shot! Thanks!”
Los Angeles, CA: “Our buildings are climate controlled, as are our personalities.”
San Francisco, CA: “Natural habitat of vegan hobos!”
Norfolk, NE: “Come check out our corn! We’ve got a pie in the oven.”
Chattanooga, TN: We have an aquarium! There are more whales than Jewish people here!”
Aspen, CO: “Come be rich with us!”
Las Vegas, NV: “Save some for the whores.”
Santa Cruz, CA: “Cowabunga!”
Detroit, MI: “On second thought, maybe not.” 
