When You Come To The Realization That Forgetting Is Easier Said Than Done

“Just move on” they all say.

But have you ever actually realized how absurd you all sound when you say this? It takes time to move on from a person and despite the fact that I’m fully aware that he’s no good for me and that he’s moved on, I can’t just go on and pretend like I didn’t care.

Could you simply move on?

Could you simply forget about the person who made you believe in fairytales again?

Could you simply forget all of the butterflies that his touch made you feel?

Could you just forget about the first time he kissed you?

Or how about all of the nicknames? Cutie? Babe? Adorable?

How does one stop believing? Feeling? Thinking?

I lay awake at night knowing that it’s been a month since we’ve texted, it’s been a month since that day. I lay awake knowing that I should be over it by now, because you’ve clearly moved on.

Sometimes I’ll go through my camera roll and I’ll find the only photo I had to document our time, or I’ll find the screenshots of the cutest things you sent me.

And I have everybody telling me that you’re not worth it, and that I should forget you.

But my heart is hoping you’ll come back, my brain knowing that you won’t.

So yes it’s been a month, and if you texted me I’d probably still answer right away, and when I see you kiss her I think of the first time you kissed me.

I’m not sure how long I’ll be thinking of you, but it doesn’t matter. If it takes months, then it takes months.