10 Painful Questions You Inevitably Ask Yourself After A Bad Breakup

He loved you, boo. He did, he does, and he probably will for a while.

Updated 9 years ago, February 1, 2016

1. “Was any of it real?”

You start to question the whole foundation of what was once a solid relationship. Rest assured, your feelings were real, and though it may have faded, the love you had for each other had a pulse. A wonderful, whole existence.

2. “Did he ever really love me?”

You replay the first time he uttered “I love you,” and you question if he really felt that way, or if it was just an accident he repeated over and over (and over) again. He loved you, boo. He did, he does, and he probably will for a while.

3. “Did I ever really love him?”

If you felt compelled to say it time and time again, don’t second-guess yourself—that shit was true. Just because the love wasn’t enough to last a lifetime with him doesn’t mean it wasn’t the real thing.

4. “…Did we even like each other?”

Yes, you did. At the beginning of your relationship, you could literally hear your stomach drop every time your phone lit up with a text from him. You laughed together. You had great sex together. You liked each other. You loved each other.

5. “Was that a total waste of my time?”

No, it wasn’t. Even if it ended in infidelity and/or a keyed car, it wasn’t a waste. Just like you learned from the algebra problems you fucked up in middle school, so too will you learn from all your fucked up loves. They’ll be painful, but they’ll feed you. They’ll help you build a starrier future.

6. “Should I have seen the end coming all along?”

You know what *they* say, babe: hindsight is 20/20. Suddenly, rogue memories populate your brain—dark, foreboding memories that suggest you should’ve known the two of you weren’t built to last a long, long time ago. Don’t live in the past. It’ll cloud all the good that’s to come.

7. “Am I an idiot for falling for him to begin with?”

No, you’re not. There was a time you thought he was exactly who and where you needed him to be. You shouldn’t fault yourself for feeling how you felt.

8. “Am I ever gonna get over this?”

Yes, you will. You’ll be heartbroken for a while. There’s no use fighting it—let yourself be heartbroken. With a little time (and perhaps a rebound bone), you’ll love being single again, and you’ll live your beautiful life without him.

9. “Will anyone ever measure up to him?”

Of course they will. The guy that’s right for you will surpass this one. He’ll be strong and sweet and courageous and kind in ways that this last one wasn’t. You’ll be happy with him. You might not believe it now—not yet—but you will. And you won’t have to settle. Ever.

10. “Will he move on before I do?”

Maybe he will. And if he does, yep, it’s gonna suck. But there’s no perfect time frame for love matters—there just isn’t. He may start banging some awful chick the day after you split, and if he does, you’ll wanna tear your hair out. But don’t disturb those pretty lil’ follicles, boo-boo. Your time will come.