The Guy You’re Going To Marry

He’s the one who holds your hand in a dark movie theatre, even after years of going to see movies together. When there’s a scary or romantic or sad part, he always manages to find your hand between your seats and give it the littlest squeeze, or just let your fingers rest softly together. He knows that the best part of movie night is not the movie itself, but spending it with you, and getting to talk about it the whole way home.

(Oh, and the buttered popcorn and candy, which you devour without ever feeling an ounce of shame or “oh, I shouldn’t.” When you’re with him, you’re a kid again, and kids get the ridiculously-sized popcorn and their favorite box of sweets.)

He can barely contain the secret when he’s about to surprise you with something, and you can feel that he gets just as excited as you do about the idea of making you happy. He loves to plan and plot for special occasions, or just show up at the door with your favorite meal on a random Tuesday, because he knows that the only way to keep romance “alive” is to create it. Maybe he’s not the best at making storybook scenes, but you wouldn’t even want that. The fact that he goes to the bar with the best buffalo wings two hours early so that you guys can have the best seats to watch the game is the most romantic thing you can think of, and that’s the kind of guy he is.

The guy you will marry might not be the most handsome, the most funny, the smartest, the strongest. But to you, he’s the best in all of those categories, because the love you feel for him will make you change those categories to fit his description. Suddenly, him watching his favorite show on the couch with a little bowl of ice cream will seem incredibly sexy and charming, because it’s him doing it. His dumb dad jokes will feel endearing and actually make you laugh. His job might not make the most money, sure, but you would much rather have him at home with you at a reasonable time than have him working nights and weekends at some high-powered job to make you a little richer. He isn’t perfect in any one way, but he’s perfect to you in all of them.

When you have one of your freakouts about something minor, he’ll keep his cool. And when he’s frustrated over something small, you’ll know how to make him put it in perspective. To each other, you’ll be a mix of therapist, doctor, and trusted friend. Sometimes the only thing you’ll need to separate the “legitimate problems” from the “all-in-your-head annoyances” will be someone who can talk you down from the ledge. You will always be that person for each other.

With him, everything will be more exciting. Trips to the grocery store will suddenly feel sexy and adventurous. Walks around your neighborhood will make you discover new things you’ve seen a million times, but never noticed. Little weekend excursions will become oases from the chaos of daily life. Everything will take on a new meaning with them, and you’ll catch yourself realizing, all the time, how much you wish they were there when you see something really funny, or really beautiful.

The guy you will marry will feel like home whenever you’re with him, because he’s the only person you know who can take care of you — without making you feel like you’re a kid. He’ll make you a warm bowl of soup, but still crack dirty jokes while you’re eating it. He’ll hold you in his arms, but still take your breath away when he surprises you with a deep kiss. He’ll play video games with you all day on the couch, but still get dressed up for a nice dinner out in the evening. And yes, sometimes you’ll fight, but you’ll never doubt for a second that you are still at home when you’re together. If he walks out in a fit of anger, you’ll trust that he’ll take a walk around the block and come back. And if you say something you regret, you know that he’ll forgive you, and hold you until it feels better.

The man you marry will be your teammate, and your favorite friend. He will be the one you want to hang out with, get drunk with, be naked with, be honest with, and laugh with. And if you do it right, your whole life together will feel like one big sleepover that never has to end.