I Lose You Every Time I Think Of Kissing You

I used to think I couldn’t go a day without your smile.
Without telling you things and hearing your voice back.

Then, that day arrived and it was so damn hard but the
next was harder. And I knew with a sinking feeling it was
going to get worse and I wasn’t going to be okay for a very
long time.

Because losing someone isn’t an occasion or an event. It
doesn’t just happen once. It happens over and over again. I
lose you every time I pick up your favourite coffee mug;
whenever that one song plays on the radio, or when I
discover your old t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.

I lose you every time I think of kissing you, holding you, or
wanting you. I go to bed at night and lose you, when I wish
I could tell you about my day. And in the morning, when I
wake and reach for the empty space across the sheets, I
begin to lose you all over again.

Like this poem? Read more in Lang Leav's book Memories, available here.