12 Reasons Every Man Should Strive To Date A Confident, Independent Woman

1. She can stand on her own two feet. She’s not looking for a shadow or to attach herself to someone else for security purposes. She’s perfectly happy on her own but enjoys the company of someone who doesn’t stifle her. She makes her own plans, has her own goals but loves having a true partner that admires her strength.

2. She makes her own decisions without needing to check with the world. Her confidence is a big component of her independent nature and she’s never understood why people have such a hard time making or sticking to a choice. Dating a confident woman is much less work. You won’t be wasting your efforts doing damage control when you haven’t told her how beautiful she is for the third time in one day, called her every hour on the hour or decided not to return her texts within a few minutes. The responsibility to flatter, wait on and build up her ego will never be part of your relationship, leaving you the space to do these things naturally, at your own pace.

3. You will rarely feel smothered. At times, you may even question if she’s actually interested or needs you, due to her ability to be happy on her own. You find yourself wanting to be with her because your desire for each other is based on fun, easy chemistry rather than an absolute need to be together.

4. You’re never expected to financially support her. She’d feel uncomfortable about it, especially when you first start dating. She’ll certainly appreciate when you pick up the tab, but only because it comes with no strings attached and it’s a gesture of kindness. She’s got her own means to make money – that desire to be financially independent was instilled in her a long time ago.

5. She’s got her own professional goals that are not dependent on anyone else. If she’s got an early morning meeting that she’s preparing for, she won’t stay out with you all night. She’s not playing games – she’s got her priorities straight. She’s also not going to base her career decisions on anyone else but herself, not until she’s married or has a good reason to incorporate another person into changing her plans. She didn’t go to college to get her MRS.

6. If she wants flowers, she’ll plant a garden. Flattery, chocolates and jewelry are always nice, but she doesn’t need them to feel good about herself. She wants someone ready to show up and evidence his interest in her without floundering, playing games or sending mixed signals. She’s confident enough to walk away if she’s not getting what she needs. She knows she deserves it. She’ll force you to be the best person you can be, because that’s what she demands. You’ll find yourself able to be yourself since that’s how she likes you.

7. When it comes to making big purchases, your opinion is important to her, but she’ll make her own decisions. This applies to big ticket items like cars, furniture and technology, no matter how “right” you think you are. She’ll enjoy your company as you choose the best flat screen TV for her living room and you’ll certainly lie on dozens of mattresses with her until you find one that makes you never want to leave her place.

8. She’s got her own views and opinions that may or may not differ from yours. She won’t agree with you or even pretend to agree with you when you’re clearly wrong. Independent is not the same as argumentative, however, so while she is fine to stick to her own views, she’s not interested in debating you necessarily. You appreciate her mind and convictions, even more so when her thoughts diverge from your own because she’s not trying to force you to agree with her. She’s opened you up to new viewpoints on things.

9. She’ll often need “alone time” to pursue her personal interests. She’s part of a book club, a gym, regularly participates in ladies night and is obsessed with a TV show or five that you’ll never understand. This will leave you time to do your own thing too – hang with your friends, play video games, watch or play sports.

10. She’s never threatened by the amount of time you devote to your interests. It’s not that she doesn’t want to spend time with you – she cherishes your time together. It’s that she gets having separate interests and people in your life that make you part of who you are. She supports that rather than feels threatened by it.

11. Her decision to be with you in a relationship is based on desire, not need. She’s a mature, decision-making goddess and she’s decided to be with you. She makes you feel loved, challenged and valued without feeling overextended. Your time together is relaxing and playful because it doesn’t feel like work to keep her happy.

12. She’ll be an excellent role model for your children one day. Especially future girls. She’ll show them how to take care of themselves and not have to rely on anyone for their own happiness. She’ll show them that loving another person does not mean giving up yourself to grow a true partnership. She’ll give them the security and affection to raise them into confident, loving beings who are capable of conquering the world.

Love this article? Check out more from Stacey Becker in her book, Knot the One, about why getting dumped before her wedding was the best thing that ever happened to her, available here.