1. FROM BOYS TO MEN

“I used to like the pretty boys with feminine features and tousled emo hair and the skinny jeans who’d volunteer down at the soup kitchen and do spoken word performances at night. Now I fantasize about being power-fucked by a truck driver or a lumberjack—or even both at the same time! So I guess the main difference is that as I went from being a girl to being a woman, my preference changed from boys to men. Sorry, boys—I want muscles and body hair and strong jaws and deep voices.”

—Jennifer

2. FROM BAD BOYS TO GOOD MEN

“Most of the guys I thought were hot when I was 25 are now either fat, bald, in jail, or living in their mom’s basement. I dated a whole string of musicians and dope dealers and tattoo artists and dreamers. For whatever reasons, I found all of that irresponsible behavior wildly attractive until I realized that it’s a dead end. Being a fuckup is much more attractive when you’re 25 than when you’re 35. Most of the guys I think are hot now have jobs, wear suits, make money, and pay their bills.”

—Amanda

3. FROM GOOD LOVER TO GOOD FATHER

“At 25, the question I’d ask was, ‘Do I want to fuck this guy?’ Now the question I ask is, ‘Do I want this guy to be the father of my children?’”

—Jessica

4. FROM HOT TO WARM

“I went from focusing on the physical to focusing on the emotional. So how the perfect man looks is less important than how he feels—especially how he expresses those feelings to me. At 25, he had to be hot. Now it’s more important that he’s warm.”

—Melinda

5. FROM SMOOTH TO HAIRY

“When I was younger I liked my men clean-shaven, hairless, and oiled like a baby seal. I thought beards and mustaches and chest hair and back hair were disgusting. Now I like my men all woolly and hairy like they make a living as fur trappers or gold prospectors. Beards and chest hair get me all worked up, but back hair is still gross as shit. So now my perfect man is hairy—except for his back, which I still want to be as smooth as a baby seal.”

—Sarah

6. FROM ‘FIXER-UPPERS’ TO PROBLEM-SOLVERS

“I have a nurturing, maternal side, and I used to be drawn to men that I saw as ‘fixer-uppers.’ I’d pick up the little wounded baby birds, wrap them in a tiny blanket, and nurture them. Fuck that. Now I want to be the one who gets pampered. I’m worth the attention. Maturity has made me egotistical, I guess lol. So the perfect man used to be someone who was deeply flawed, and I’d dote on him. Now I want to be doted on.”

—Heather

7. FROM DIAPER BABIES TO MEN WHO HAVE THEIR SHIT TOGETHER

“For me, the perfect guy used to be unstable—wild, reckless, creative, carefree, a dreamer, no job, no money, no visible means of support, no future. Ten years later that isn’t so charming anymore. Now the perfect guy is stable. God, you look at pictures of families from 100 years ago, and any man who was 25 back then had six kids and maybe even his first grandchild. He built the family cabin with his own hands and wrestled mountain lions to keep his family safe. These days, your average 25-year-old guy is still playing video games, waiting for the next Star Wars movie, and wears a bib when his mom feeds him a TV dinner. That sort of behavior didn’t bother me when I was 25, because I just figured all guys are like that. Now I can’t even think about kissing a guy unless he has a job, a car, and a 10-year plan for becoming a millionaire. The perfect guy has his shit together, which is why you never have to wipe his behind for him.”

—Nicole

8. FROM SUBMISSIVE TO DOMINANT

“I’m a feminist, and I’m still a feminist, and I used to be attracted to guys who defined themselves as feminists. But over the past ten years I’ve felt some biological tuggings on my uterus that tend to suggest biology runs deeper than ideology. Nowadays passive males make me want to step on their faces. I find them totally disgusting. At least in the bedroom, I want a man who’s going to grab my hair, push my face down in the pillow, and pillage my body ruthlessly like he’s a Viking invader and I’m a helpless Scottish lass. Then, when we’re all cleaned up and showered, we can go back to being feminists.”

—Amie

9. FROM RUDE TO RESPECTFUL

“At 35, the perfect guy is the one who won’t give me any shit, because at 35, I won’t take any shit anymore.”

—Angie

10. FROM SMALLER TO BIGGER

“OK, I’m sure this is not the most honorable answer you’re going to get, but over the years I’ve definitely become more of a size queen. I’ve gone from ‘size doesn’t matter’ to ‘size is everything.’ Especially if it’s thicker. Some girls still say size doesn’t matter. That’s fine—they can have the small boys. It’s shallow, but now my perfect guy has a dick that’s so big, it turns the corner before he does.”

—Stephanie