5 Really Good Reasons You Should Totally Believe Your Horoscope

The other day, I was explaining to my friend that I couldn’t go to her party; when pressed as to why, I explained with levity: “Well… it has something to do with my horoscope.” This then initiated an hour long conversation in which I had to defend my intelligence “despite” my belief in such “supernatural mumbo jumbo.” I should have just gone out partying. But here’s the thing: astrology IS real. I am now going to boil it down into 5 explanations that are, at the very least, good enough for me.

1. It goes back all the way to the dawn of civilization

And is the accumulation of millennia of speculation regarding human experience. There has to be something there if people have been at it for so long. It seems inevitable that generations and generations of wisdom might accumulate in systems such as astrology.

2. It is a symbolic information-storage technology.

People don’t always have the best memories. Astrology is a great way to make complex theories about human nature accessible and memorable. Are you a visually oriented person? Great, astrology can explain the diversity of human experience through pictorial symbols. Are you more of a narrative person? Cool, there’s lots of mythological stories to help make you feel grounded.

3. It is a means to communicate your identity to other people in a language they might understand.

If for no other reason, astrology can be a way to disclose information about yourself to other people in a way that might come close to explaining the depths of your soul in as short as a few minutes. It is self-disclosure on hyper-drive. What other excuses are there to begin a conversation with a total stranger about your relationship history, your upbringing, your untold secrets, and your personal vices all at once?

4. It is a way to inscribe the self upon the cosmos.

Star power… What’s not to like about that?

5. It forces you to consider alternative ways of thinking about your experiences and relationships.

Ever get stuck in a disastrous relationship situation completely lacking in any semblance of “closure”? Ta-da! READ YOUR HOROSCOPE. It might not be THE answer, but an answer is sometimes better than no answer. Stop obsessing about the infinite possibilities regarding what your friend meant by a passive aggressive comment, whether your ex was really cheating on you, etc. Astrology is here to force you to exit your human-centered perspective and take a look at things from a cosmic register… instant closure!