16 Truly Devoted Women And Men Discuss How They Define And Demonstrate Relationship Loyalty

1. “To me, I think loyalty is more than just not sleeping with other people. It’s being involved in keeping the relationship going and showing more than just a little interest in the future. Being involved and engaged like that shows you care about what happens in the future which shows you believe there is a future in the first place.”

—Diana, 27

2. “Don’t make the same mistake over and over again. I need to know that what you say really matters and that you’re loyal to your word.”

—Jacob, 24

3. “I think a big part of showing that you’re loyal is simply talking and telling the person you love that you’re loyal to them. Doing things to show it, yes, that’s important but there’s no substitute for telling your girlfriend that they’re the only one you love or want to love.”

—Byron, 28

4. “I’ve never really understood why loyalty was hard, actually. Either you want to be in a relationship with someone or you don’t. If you do then cheating on them would hurt them and hurt the relationship. If you want to be in a relationship with them then why would you do something that would hurt it? It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

—Cynthia, 23

5. “My Dad told me this and it’s really stuck with me: ‘Loyalty is a choice you make every day.'”

—Richard, 30

6. “Loyalty can mean different things to different people so it’s all about what a couple decides is important to them. My husband and I aren’t monogamous but that doesn’t mean we aren’t loyal to one another. We made a promise to love and support one another through thick and thin and we’ve done that and it’s the most important thing to us. Just because we have sex with other people sometimes doesn’t mean we aren’t loyal.”

—Meghan, 29

7. “If having someone that’s loyal to your relationship is important to you then date/marry/whatever someone that also really thinks its important. I can’t tell you how many of my friends have dated men that clearly didn’t think loyalty was a thing and were then surprised when their man wasn’t loyal. A man who is loyal will go out of his way to let you know it. It will be something he wants to express.”

—Anna, 26

8. “Don’t cheat on me and don’t have ’emotional affairs’ with people. It’s that simple.”

—Erica, 25

9. “A big part of loyalty to me is accountability which is just another word for responsibility. Simply doing what I say I’m going to do and going out of my way to make sure my girlfriend is comfortable with my actions is a big deal. Seriously though, being home from hanging out with the guys when you say you’re going to be really matters. It may not be a huge deal if you leave her out of the loop once but if you keep doing it then she’ll see that you don’t care if she’s comfortable or not and then she’ll question your loyalty. This isn’t rocket science unless you’re a rebellious manbaby.”

—Darren, 31

10. “There’s a lot of aspects to loyalty probably but I think one big one is showing that you care that I’m satisfied sexually. If a man does not care about that then I can’t imagine him caring about anything else. I have a hard time believing that any dude who’s checked out in that category is going to be loyal or involved in any other way.”

—Jan, 28

11. “If you want to show loyalty then you better be willing to make sacrifices. There’s no other test out there that shows whether someone is really loyal or not than them having to do things they’d rather not do or are uncomfortable with.”

—Michelle, 25

12. “I think the best display of loyalty is simply being with someone who tries to see what needs I have and help fulfill them.”

—Marie, 23

13. “Do not ever take sides against your SO in public, ever.”

—Nadia, 24

14. “One of the ways I demonstrate loyalty and keep myself out of trouble is just to make sure I don’t put myself in situations where I’m tempted to slip. I don’t go to strip clubs. I don’t hang out with female friends unaccompanied. I don’t do things that could result in difficult situations for me because I know that stronger men than I have succumbed to temptation. That’s not a statement on my character. It’s just being real.”

—Chris, 24

15. “Wash the dishes when you know I’m working late even if it’s my turn. This tells me we’re a team and you’re loyal to the idea of us. Loyalty is mostly basic shit.”

—Georgia, 28

16. “To a lot of people, I think loyalty just means that their SO won’t ever leave them but that’s a dog’s loyalty, not a person’s. Loyalty to me is holding yourself accountable to your SO’s best self. If they refuse to be their best self and you won’t stand for it then they’ve betrayed your loyalty, not the other way around.”

—Janelle, 26