1. SHE WAS A SMOKER

“First rule of knowing me is: I HATE smoking. Can’t stand the smell of cigarettes, can’t stand the sight of them, think that anyone who smokes is an idiot who deserves cancer, and I loathe the tobacco companies with every fiber of my being. So it was just my luck to fall in love at first sight with a beautiful blonde girl with a mouth like a truck driver and who smoked like a chimney. I’d look at her beautiful face and think, ‘Yeah, but she smokes.’ She’d say the funniest thing ever and I’d think, ‘OK, but she smokes.’ And then she kissed me and I thought, ‘Well, then, I don’t care if she smokes.’”

—Brandon, 27

2. HE’S ‘TALL’ WHERE IT COUNTS

“We were set up by friends on a blind date. The first time I laid eyes on him I thought he was cute, but I had this deep inner sigh of despair when I saw that he was about two inches shorter than me. I know that sounds superficial, but most girls don’t want a boyfriend who’s shorter than they are. The only men who should be shorter than you are your grandfather and your sons. But I should have realized there’s a huge difference between height and length! His length more than made up for his height.”

—Mitzi, 26

3. IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FORGIVE HER FAKE TAN

“I’m from the East Coast, where most of us don’t really care if we get pasty as bagel dough during the winter and maybe eke out one or two feeble sunburns during the summer. So when I met the girl who is now my wife, it took me a little bit of getting used to her Jersey Shore fashion sense. She’d bake her skin like rotisserie chicken at the local tanning salon all winter long, and she’d wear the copper-colored lipstick and the insanely long blinged-out fingernails, yet through my perseverance I came to know a woman who’s as solid as a Mafia wife and who fights for our two kids like a goddamned mama wolverine. She can look a fake as she wants on the outside, because on the inside, she’s real all the way down to the bone.”

—Billy, 29

4. ROUGH ON THE OUTSIDE, SOFT ON THE INSIDE

“OK, so she was covered from head to toe in tattoos, she had a lip piercing and a nose piercing, she had absolutely no filter about speaking her mind in the most graphic and uncomfortable way possible, and she asked if she could see my dick about fifteen minutes into our first date—while we were at a restaurant. I mean, they say don’t judge a book by its cover, but if she were a book, she’d be wrapped in brown paper in the back of an adult bookstore. But as the hours and nights and weeks and months—and now three years—unfolded, I came to know the most genuine, caring, empathetic, helpful, trustworthy person I’ve ever loved. It really taught me to never judge anyone by the way they look.”

—Sean, 28

5. HE’S SHALLOW AND DEEP AT THE SAME TIME

“I was instantly attracted to him because he’s just sexy as hell, but because he was sexy, I assumed he was as dumb as a tree stump. Usually guys are either smart or sexy, and rarely do you get both wrapped up in the same gorgeous slab of meat. But after our initial monthlong ‘sex coma’ wore off and we got to know one another, I realized that not only is he smart as hell, he’s also wise way beyond his years. I hit the Lotto with this guy—he’s a male bimbo who’s also deep! Shallow and deep—he covers the waterfront. Stay away, ladies, because I bite!”

—Renae, 28

6. SHE’S MUCH LESS OBNOXIOUS THAN SHE SEEMED AT FIRST

“We’ve been together for three years and we’re going to get married in the spring despite the fact that when I first met her I hated her guts and thought she was an obnoxious clown. I think part of the problem is that I’m more of an introvert, and what I at first saw as just some loudmouthed scenester party girl was actually a woman with incredible social intelligence who knew exactly how to charm and work people to get what she wants from them. This would prove to be a valuable asset in a partner, because I’m completely clueless when it comes to dealing with people. With my brains and her ability to hustle, we’re unbeatable.”

—Harold, 26

7. AT FIRST I COULDN’T GET OVER HER VOICE

“I met her online, and the first thing you see are the pictures, and wow, yep, no doubt, she was Angelina Jolie-level beautiful. We traded a few messages before swapping phone numbers, and when I first talked to her over the phone, she had this crackly white-girl mall-rat voice that made her sound so dumb, it immediately dashed all my hopes of us ever hooking up, much less getting into a serious relationship. Her voice was so bad, I feared it might kill my erection if she dared open her mouth during sex. But once we started talking, I realized she was not only my intellectual equal, she might even be my superior. She’s so smart, she even knows how to use her dumb-sounding voice to her advantage.”

—Jim, 32

8. WE HAD OUR FIRST AND ONLY ARGUMENT THE NIGHT WE MET

“Oh, my God, talk about starting off on the wrong foot—I met my boyfriend at a club where he was working the door, taking in the money and acting as a bouncer. I admit I was a little tipsy when I walked up and introduced myself and he kind of mumbled something back, and then I yelled at him and stomped away because I thought he was acting rude. Turns out he’s only shy, and a girlfriend told me a few days later that he’d had a crush on me for months! He forgave me for being a complete bitch to him, and I’ve never been a complete bitch again. I can be a partial bitch sometimes, but I’m never a complete one anymore, at least not to him.”

—Amie, 31

9. WE DISAGREED ON POLITICS

“We disagreed on politics, which I figured would be a deal breaker right out of the gate. But he had a nuanced view about things that actually opened my mind quite a bit. I thought he was just some dumb member of the opposing ‘team,’ but he made me realize there are more than two ways of looking at any given issue. Now the only ‘team’ that matters is me and him.”

—Val, 22

10. ONCE A CHEATER, NOT NECESSARILY ALWAYS A CHEATER

“I had the misfortune of getting my ‘first impression’ even before I met him—he has a reputation in our social circle as a bit of a player. A heartthrob, definitely, and the type of guy that girls just throw themselves at, but someone who would break your heart in a minute just because he got bored or caught the scent of some new girl in town. So when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes, but I didn’t tell him it’d take me a long time to trust him. So I waited three months…six months…a year…and now it’s two years, and he hasn’t given me one single sign that he’s been unfaithful. He hasn’t said one mean thing to me, and we never fight. Sometimes when you give people a second chance they treat you like a sucker; other times they prove themselves totally honorable.”

—Maria, 28

11. I THOUGHT SHE WAS TOO YOUNG

“My first impression was, ‘Wow, she’s smart and funny and hot and I can’t believe she likes me, but she’s a dozen years younger than I am and this is going to make me look like a pervert.’ But I dove in anyway because the benefits clearly outweighed the minor inconvenience of some people—mostly jealous guys and lonely women—thinking I’m a pervert. Three years later, this pervert is engaged to her.”

—Alan, 34