15 Extremely Shy People Reveal How They Deal With First Dates

1. “I actually lead with a disclaimer. I make it clear before the date that I’m shy, and I’m super fun to be around by like the fifth date. Usually that breaks the ice enough that we have a pretty good time.”

— James, 24

2. “I pace and stress about the date for hours and hours, compose and delete countless texts bailing on the date, and then just go for it. I have to rip the bandaid off quickly. I want to die for the majority of the evening, but at the end of the day, I’m almost always glad I went out.”

— Dana, 22

3. “I always suggest really casual first dates, like grabbing coffee or going to the movies. It takes off a lot of the pressure, and I can usually make a pretty decent first impression.”

— Seth, 25

4.“Awkwardly? I don’t know, how do other people deal with first dates? Is there another way?”

— Hannah, 23

5. “I make sure that I can get my hands on some alcohol before or during the date. It loosens me up enough that I can behave like a normal human being for a few hours.”

— Liesl, 25

6.“I don’t date. #foreveralone”

— Adam, 22

7. “It’s never great. I’m really awkward, but I figure that’s okay because it’s who I am. If they aren’t interested in dating someone who’s socially awkward, then we might as well get that out in the open right away and move on with our lives.”

— Christine, 23

8. “You have to just power through. First dates are horrible for everyone, and as long as you don’t present yourself as some psychopath serial killer, they’re usually open to going on a second date.”

— Roger, 26

9. “I try really hard to make my shyness seem endearing. It works about half the time.”

— Tammi, 24

10. “I try and put all of my personality and charm into the text messages before the date, that way my date has a little bit of an idea of who I actually am. It balances things out enough that they’ll usually go on a second date with me.”

— Peter, 24

11. “I’m shy. First dates go horribly. The only successful relationship I’ve had was with someone that I was close friends with for a long time before we tried dating.”

— Daniel, 22

12. “I have an arsenal of questions that I ask on dates. If I can keep them talking they don’t usually notice how quiet I am.”

— Jackie, 20

13. “I’m an actor, so I can usually “turn off” my shyness for a few hours to get through a first date. It completely saps all of my energy though, so if my date wants to hang out soon afterward, I always have to make some excuse.”

— Reggie, 27

14. “I deal with first dates the exact same way I deal with day-to-day socializing. There’s a lot of shaking, uncomfortable laughter, and awkward silences. Lather, rinse, repeat.”

— Grace, 24

15. “Honestly, I think the getting-a-date part is far worse than any date. If I can muster up the courage to ask a stranger out, then the first date is pretty much cake.”

— Miles, 25