14 Men And Women On The Biggest Life Change They’ve Ever Made Because Of A Broken Heart

1. “The thing about a broken heart is that sometimes even little changes can feel like big changes. I remember the first time I started sleeping on the entire bed instead of just what had been ‘my side’. It was brutal at the time but every day that I woke up sprawled across my entire bed I felt I was getting past the worst of it. Sounds small but it was an enormous change for me after sharing a bed with him for two years.”

—Sophie, 23

2. “Got a new job all the way across the country and dumped all my friends who were also his friends because it was just unworkable and depressing. I don’t regret it at all. I have a life that’s 100% mine now and friends that are 100% mine.”

—Isabella, 26

3. “I broke up with my boyfriend because I wanted to get in shape and he didn’t. I know that sounds harsh but I didn’t make the decision lightly. He and I were both very, very overweight and starting to have nagging health problems from it. After therapy for depression I decided I had to break the mold I was in and started working out and eating differently. He would not do it. I begged him to come to the gym with me, eat what I was eating and he refused, said I was stupid and ‘trying to look like a model’.

Six months later I’d lost 50 pounds and was feeling better and better as a person. He still wouldn’t budge and, if anything, he gained weight during this time period. I finally broke it off with him. The thing is that I loved him and I still love him but he’s just too caught up in his body issues to receive that love which was toxic for us. I do miss him as strange as that may sound.”

—Janet, 27

4. “This is pretty personal so I’d appreciate if you didn’t share my name at all. Years ago I had a problem in relationships where I was often so afraid of women leaving me that I was pretty much a pushover. After a breakup in my mid-20s I started martial arts at a friend’s insistence because he thought it would help my self esteem. It did, massively. It completely changed the way I thought about everything, actually and got rid of the fear I had about relationships and loss.”

—Anonymous, 30

5. “I joined the Army. I can’t say it was a bad decision but it was definitely impulsive.”

—Kendra, 28

6. “After a breakup in college I cut my hair and by cut I mean with clippers all the way down to my scalp. I’ve never felt so free as when I did that day, actually.”

—Sara, 25

7. “I went dark after a particularly bad breakup meaning I deleted all my social media accounts and quit texting. In retrospect I just really needed to be isolated away from all the noise out there and get my head together. It was very healing for me.”

—Eric, 26

8. “This happened when I was 16 but my biggest breakup was when I realized I didn’t like boys and it was the most heartbreaking too because I didn’t really know what that meant about me except that I consistently had feelings about girls. I came to understand myself, sexually, but it took some time and that was a period of enormous change.”

—Amber, 21

9. “My wife and I divorced after five years of marriage. I gave her my share of the house in exchange for not having to pay alimony and then bought a small plot of land out past the suburbs and started building a small house on it. It took three years but it’s something I’d have never done without the heartbreak of a divorce. Of course now that it’s finished I’ve met someone I love and the house needs to be bigger which figures.”

—Jackson, 31

10. “I’m a Muslim and I’d never dated a Muslim or anyone of faith actually. The last breakup that I had was with an agnostic who continually made me feel belittled for having any beliefs at all even though he always said he was fine with it. When we broke up I realized that dating him was basically destroying my relationship with God and that my previous relationships had as well. I decided to only date people of faith after that and I’m currently engaged to a Catholic. I feel loved and understood for the first time since I started dating.”

—Sabah, 25

11. “I went back to eating meat. For two years I didn’t touch the stuff because I didn’t want to raise the ire of my vegan girlfriend. First thing I did after she dumped me? Double Whopper. No regrets.”

—Michael, 24

12. “I’d like to thank my college boyfriend and fiance for dumping me. I’d have never discovered the joys of casual sex without him.”

—Michelle, 22

13. “Took the money I was saving for an engagement ring and moved to New Delhi for two months. Nothing like a totally foreign environment to help you get over someone. I even found consulting work there which I’d been struggling to find in the states. Turned out to be a blessing, really.”

—Adam, 24

14. “Started taking medication for bipolar disorder which I’d had the entire time my gf and I had been dating without knowing it. Really wish I’d done it before and not lost her but at least I’m doing something about it now.”

—Aaron, 26