7 Struggles Only People Who Are Hard On Themselves Will Understand
I envy those of you who make a mistake, and then promptly brush it off and say something along the lines of, “Oh well. It happens.” Instead, when I make an error (no matter how menial), I am immediately faced with soul-crushing anxiety that leads me to question whether I’ll ever be good enough. Dramatic? I’m aware. Here are 7 things that people who are tough on themselves understand:
1. The phrase “Don’t worry about it” means absolutely nothing to you.
In fact, hearing it may actually magnify the guilt and lead you think to yourself, “Wait. I wasn’t that worried about it. Now I’m horrified.” You believe that this person is disguising their kind words as an attempt to make you feel better, but in reality their positive thoughts about you have decreased dramatically. You just murdered your reputation. Congratulations – you suck.
2. You’re emotionally guarded – because being vulnerable translates to being weak to you.
It takes a lot for you to show emotion or open up to people, because you want to consistently appear headstrong. The thought of showing emotion terrifies you, because you believe that all your faults that you’ve worked so hard to conceal will then be exposed. You don’t speak up at times when you really should, because you want to be perceived as somebody who can handle anything – no matter how much pressure or how many hardships it may involve.
3. Dwelling on the past isn’t just a bad habit of yours – it’s pretty much a hobby.
You could be having a great day, but then unexpectedly a nagging painful memory will find its way to creep into your mind. Remember when you said something dumb on that date with the cute guy from your building? He might have been interested prior to your comment, but he clearly hates you now. You should probably just accept the fact that you’re going to be single forever.
4. Constructive criticism is the worst thing imaginable.
Your heart immediately sinks when a co-worker says, “This is great, but I’m just going to offer some constructive criticism.” While they mean well, you irrationally berate yourself for not hitting the bull’s eye right away. It doesn’t matter if this was your first time working on this project independently, or if you had limited guidance. You obviously should have been smart enough to nail it on the first try.
5. You over-think things to the point where you create problems that didn’t exist in the first place.
You convince yourself that your boyfriend is sick of you – just because he wants to have a guys’ night out. (You mean he’d rather watch the game at the bar than cuddle with you on the couch watching One Tree Hill reruns tonight? THAT BASTARD.)
6. You have to give yourself an internal pep talk sometimes.
It doesn’t matter how many others tell you that things are going to be okay – convincing yourself to believe it is always a struggle. Sometimes you have to take a breather and reinforce positive thoughts. Otherwise, you’ll stay fixated on this problem, and are incapable of concentrating on just about anything else. Essentially, you’re paralyzed until you finally successfully come to terms with the fact that it’s not the end of the world. (Which may take a LONG time.)
7. You’re extremely passionate.
Not only do you want to do something right, but you also want to do something that you consider to be meaningful. You don’t complete tasks to get them done and move on – you do them so you can look back proudly and think, “I accomplished this – and did an amazing job.” Your attentiveness to the project will inevitably result in dedication – and achieving success demonstrates why you put so much pressure on yourself to begin with.
It also reminds you that sometimes, being tough on yourself isn’t such a bad thing after all. 
