5 Reasons Why Camden Sucks

Source: r4vi

Proper Londoners know that nightlife in the city is all about Soho or Shoreditch. After all, West London is really only for idiots and antipodeans, and North London, well, okay, sure, sometimes you end up there. But who really enjoys it? Every time I’ve ever been out in Camden I’ve always had a sucky time. Here’s why:

1. The Good Mixer. Most bars in Camden – but especially The Good Mixer – smell like sick. The last thing I want when I’m chugging back my beer is to smell someone else’s regurgitated booze. Ugh, totally gross.

2. The people. Even William Gibson has a few choice words to say about the residents/tourists/frequenters of Camden. In Pattern Recognition, he calls Camden “The Children’s Crusade.” I know what he means. I call it “The Lemming Shuffle.” Who wants to walk up Camden Lock trudging behind an endless slow moving stream of morons? They’re like zombies with bad taste.

3. HMV Forum. Okay technically it’s in Kentish Town but that area all kinda blurs into one for me. It’s the worst gig venue ever. They turned me away from Metronomy because the gig already started and they told me off for dancing at Death From Above 1979. What’s up with that?!? Seriously, other venues take note (I’m looking at you XOYO).

4. Amy Winehouse. There was a time when not a day went past without a lurid tabloid printing a picture of her falling out of a Camden pub or partying with Pete Doherty. Okay, so maybe she’s sorted herself out now, but I still associate the place with that kind of boozehound, scruffy, indie ilk of people.

5. 2004. Camden is the land that time forgot. And it froze in exactly 2004. If you thought people stopped wearing New Rocks and writing ‘Deftones’ on their Eastpaks in Tippex then think again. That shit still goes on in one place in the world.

Howcomes I grew up and you didn’t, Camden? Please, get some diversity and maturity and then maybe I’ll call you yeah? I wouldn’t hold your breath though.