When I Realized I Didn’t Want A Boyfriend, But Needed A Sex Life

I was working in a luxury Shopping mall when I realized that I did not want a boyfriend. As I watched the happy couples go by all I envied was their intimacy, their sex lives. They actually had one.

This idea kept roaming in the back of my mind, and I finally decided to talk about it to people around me, a Friend of mine, who is already married, looked at me with huge repelled eyes. My best friend… well she could not understand.

So I started to think that I was a perverted young girl and hated that idea. I met someone, older than me, there was nothing going on between us except for the obvious sexual attraction we had for each other, and everybody else noticed. We saw each other at work every day and my desire for him was at its climax.

Thing is I was brought up to think that it is bad, some people I opened up to about it told me that I was just lonely and that I should get a boyfriend. But what they did not understand was that I did not want to know him personally, I wanted him sexually, and they thought I was falling in love but I did not realize it… really?

And those recurrent judgements of those close minded people are so boring. In Mauritius, we are a multicultural country, living peacefully together, yes there are lots of prejudices. The problem is culture clash, where most people out there (men & women) think that it is not good for a woman to remain unmarried and own her sexuality or to discover her sexual personality.
The norm: get married and have sex for life with that person. (Generally speaking, it’s not like that everywhere in here though)

But what they do not understand, I don’t want a boyfriend, I watched my friends with their men, they are accomplices in everything they do, being in such a relationship, being married has so many responsibilities attached to it. In Mauritius it’s not just marrying the man you love it’s adopting and being adopted by the whole family, who has their own rules and you are restricted most of the times to what they want you to be.

I am fighting for myself, and have responsibilities towards my siblings and parents, I L O V E my freedom, I am still studying and planning carefully my future, I know that I do not want a boyfriend, I don’t want to build my life with someone, I want to build my life, I want to know myself better and discover life, I believe there is so much more in life, about life than this one option; marriage. My parents support me in my choices and guide me. People are telling me that I have a long way to go and that when I am fully accomplished or mature enough for a serious relationship, I might change my mind.

What I need is a sexual life… but apparently it is wrong. It is also wrong to be 21 years old (rights reserved to girls), [again generally speaking], and not married here in Mauritius when you are Mauritian, but when foreigners do it, it is okay. I love my Paradise Island, but I am shocking under the weight of all those cultures who breed youth who scream out loud they are open minded and modern. When in fact they are simply wealthy and living a fancy lifestyle or stuck doing a merry go round in their married life but living an imaginary perfect life.