17 Mindy Kaling Quotes About Every Aspect Of Life That Prove She Just Gets You

If you haven’t watched The Mindy Project or read her book Are People Hanging Without Me (And Other Concerns), please rethink all life choices to date.

Note: take all quotes with a grain of salt, because I don’t want to get in trouble for any acid related incidents.

1. On being a morning person

“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”

2. On friendship

“One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.”

3. On manners

“I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice.”

4. On partying

“If I’m at a party where I’m not enjoying myself, I will put some cookies in my jacket pocket and leave without saying good-bye.”

5. On revenge

“Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best-served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away.”

6. On fashion

“There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes.”

7. On fashion (continued) and other women

“I, like most women, I dress for other women, I think. If I was going to dress for men, I think in general I would be just wearing, like, a fitted black T-shirt and tight jeans every day.”

8. On traditional advice

“You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now?”

9. On your awkward teenage years

“I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quite, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.”

10. On life goals

“It’d be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it’s totally obvious to everyone that I did it.”

11. On coming to terms with your physical capability

“Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty-five pull-ups. Pull-ups are tough, no joke.”

12. On public approval

“I would rather have someone read my diary than look at my iPod playlists.”

13. On topics of conversation

“No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out.”

14. On good music

“Songs should be three minutes long, and Nicki Minaj raps in the middle.”

15. On dealing with embarrassing moments

“I just need to ride out this minor humiliation until I find my Kanye.”

16. On asserting your presence

“Some favorites are to favorite, but many are to say, “I’m watching you.”

17. On embracing it

“I just figured, if I’m going to be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess, right?”