What It Means That She Pulls Away When You Touch Her

I drink spoonfuls of my own loneliness.
Beige shutters have become my barrier,
I am drunk on keeping you away
I am intoxicated on walls
and being far from reach.
I do not want to be touched.

I do not want to be touched.

Maybe I am afraid because I remember the hands
Fingers weaving nooses around my neck
I cannot handle
more than I can chew
so I will bite holes in excuses
and flee.
Shying away means
once,
at some point,
someone didn’t touch me with kindness.
Someone didn’t kiss me with honesty.

But I want to love you.

Please give me time.
Be patient,
and kiss me under the crescent moon.
I want to give you my failures and cracked pieces.
So wear your softest gloves.
Proceed with caution.
Love me like you’re approaching a stop sign.
Slowly.
Darling,
slowly.