Middle-Aged Nature Lover Beats Falcon To Death With Her Beaded Scarf

In what is commonly referred to as “the natural world,” animals known as “falcons” hunt other animals known as “ducks.” Sometimes the “falcon” catches, kills, and eats the “duck” and sometimes the “duck” escapes and lives and has tiny ducklings which grow up (or don’t) and are then hunted by “falcons” again. This is what is known in “the natural world” as the circle of life.

60-year-old nature lover Patti MacDonald doesn’t see it this way. To Patti MacDonald, nature is supposed to be sweet and pretty where nothing bloody or flesh rending ever occurs. In defense of her position, Patti killed a falcon last month with a beaded scarf as it was pinning down a duck in an attempt to kill it as falcons are wont to do.

Authorities say MacDonald fractured the skull of the falcon, named Hornet, on Jan. 7 after seeing the midair attack and stopping her vehicle to help the duck.

Authorities say an Idaho Fish and Game officer later received an anonymous call from a woman saying she tried to save a duck from a falcon. The phone system identified the caller as MacDonald.

Hornet’s owner, Scott Dinger, says MacDonald should be charged with killing a protected species.

It’s unclear if the duck survived.

The duck, reportedly, died anyway.

Well done, Patti. You’re a credit to self important and ignorant nature lovers everywhere. You see, as in the Lion King, there are good animals and there are bad animals. Patti is a soldier on the side of the good animals. In reward for her brief tour of duty, Patti is being charged with one count of beating or harassing an animal which can bring 6 months of jail time a 5K fine.

As for Hornet, fly free brother, ain’t no stopping you now.