14 Ways To Know You’re An Optimistic Pessimist

1. The phrase, “Hope for the best, plan for the worst,” is your life motto.

2. Whenever “the worst” happens, you shout to the depths of the Earth’s core, “I knew you had it out for me! Nothing good ever happens to me!”

3. Whenever “the best” happens, you turn up towards the exosphere and proclaim, “Thank you, Universe! I knew you wouldn’t let me down! Today is a beautiful day!”

4. If optimists are compared to sunny weather, and pessimists to torrential rain, you’re like a partly cloudy day with a 75% chance of precipitation.

5. Friends that come to you for relationship advice usually leave confused. That text probably means nothing, and you’re probably reading wayyy too much into it, but he could also be madly in love with you? But probably not. But you can always hope? But don’t hope too much.

6. When you wake up in the morning, your days are “guilty until proven innocent.” You assume the day is going to be horrible as always but you’re open to the idea that it could prove you wrong.

7. Whenever a celebrity falls off the deep end, you’re not surprised, because you saw that coming, but you always hope that they’ll turn things around (even though you’re definitely not holding your breath).

8. You hate trying new things, like skydiving, because you’re sure everything is going to go horribly, horribly wrong, but a persistent friend can usually convince you to give it a try.

9. If you’re a writer, every time you write anything, you chastise yourself that no one’s going to ever read your writing because it’s crap, but deeper in your thoughts you’re already accepting your Pulitzer.

10. Whenever you watch New Girl, you simultaneously relate to Nick and Jess, and it’s very confusing for you.

11. You’re more than willing to give people second chances, but if they mess that up, you’re pretty much over them.

12. You complain about all forms of bad weather, but really enjoy spending a day out in the snow building a snowman.

13. You’re sure that everything sucks, and a lot of bad stuff is going to come your way, but you’re confident you’ll be able to get through it.

14. Whenever you’re grocery shopping and aren’t sure if you need milk, you buy it, because ugh you probably don’t have any, but hey! Now you do!