25 Satisfying Things About Pregnancy That Every New Mother Experiences
Making a list of baby names, and laughing at many of them later, because what were you thinking?
1. The rebellious feeling of sex without birth control.
2. Saying stuff like, “Hey, we just removed the goalie!” and then winking at your partner, because only people with kids know this means you’ve stopped using birth control.
3. Waiting for your period and feeling actually happy it’s late. And then not needing tampons for a whole nine months.
4. Peeing on a plastic stick and seeing two lines magically show up. Wondering if this shockingly simple test can really determine something so important. Doing a second test. (Because of course, the minute you removed the goalie, you bought a couple of tests to have on hand.)
5. Deciding you must save this stick with two lines, as a commemorative item, except you don’t know how to appropriately save something with urine on it, so you put it in a Ziploc and tuck it away on the bathroom shelf for later.
6. Immediately calling your ob/gyn or midwife to schedule your first prenatal appointment, even if it’s Sunday or 4 a.m.
7. Hearing your voice catch when you tell your parents that you’re going to be a parent.
8. Starring your “due date” on your calendar, even though you will not likely give birth on that date, because early in pregnancy you don’t know that.
9. Eating for two, which sometimes means you eat for three, or four, and being able to fully justify this.
10. Deciding if you want to “find out” (if you’re having a boy or girl). Making a pro/con list.
11. Finding out.
12. Not finding out.
13. Making a list of baby names, and laughing at many of them later, because what were you thinking?
14. Deciding on the name and getting a little bit weepy. Because, wow. And hormones.
15. Marveling at how sometimes your belly appears to grow overnight. And then checking online to make sure your belly was really supposed to grow that much overnight.
16. Going to a maternity clothing store and discovering pants with enormous elastic panels and feeling relieved instead of disgusted. Buying three pairs.
17. Feeling the fetus move for the first time, and every time thereafter.
18. Celebrating yourself at your own baby shower. Opening gifts that are cute (onesies) or unexpected (nipple salve).
19. Cleaning your house top to bottom, including the cobwebs on top of the ceiling fan, which you never even knew were there. Telling everyone this means you’re “nesting.” Which means you’re thankfully almost done with pregnancy.
20. The first signs of labor, and thinking, holy shit, this is really happening.
21. The act of childbirth, which depending on your experience, you may not describe as “satisfying” until several months or years later.
22. Holding that small, warm bundle for the first time. Understanding that this warm bundle completely redefines the meaning of love.
23. Signing your baby’s birth certificate as “Parent.”
24. Transporting your baby home. Realizing that you are now a family.
25. Discovering the Ziploc with your urinated-on stick, deciding it’s disgusting, and throwing it away. Because um, now you have the baby, and that’s commemorative enough. 
