20 Things You Should Know Before Dating A ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Geek
By 
De Elizabeth
Congratulations! You’re about to date a person who is obsessed with all things Tolkien. Take it from someone who is a fully fledged LOTR nerd – you’re going to love it. You are in for an adventure, Bilbo Baggins style. But before you embark on your dinner (or supper) date, make sure you’ve familiarized yourself with these essential points:
1. First and foremost – we embrace the term “geek” and wear it with pride. It is not an insult, but rather, the greatest compliment.
2. Whenever we see the word “pint” on the bar menu, this dialogue is absolutely mandatory:
“It comes in pints? I’m getting one!”
“But you’ve had a whole half already!”
3. When we say that we’re bilingual, we mean that we speak some Elvish.
4. Theme parties are a breeze for us – we undoubtedly have a stash of elf ears lying around, as well as at least one weapon replica (most likely Sting) in our closet.
5. We like grand gestures of romance, and we’re just as good at giving them. Arwen gave up her immortality for Aragorn, so…..just sayin’.
6. The best way to make us laugh is to send funny Tolkien related memes – like this one.
7. We’ve probably read (or written) a few fanfictions in our day. If you can work the term “Mary Sue” into conversations, we’ll adore you.
8. We’ll use character names to refer to other people. You might want to brush up on the glossaries in the back of the books so you’ll know what we mean when we tell you to stop being such a Melkor during a fight.
9. We kind of wish trees could talk, like Ents.
10. There’s only one appropriate activity for when we’re snowed in during a blizzard: a movie marathon. Or drinking game – one shot for every time Legolas uses an object as a surfboard.
11. We see nothing wrong with eating both breakfast and second breakfast.
12. We are fiercely loyal, through thick and thin. Sam never abandoned Frodo, even when Frodo acted like a giant douchebag in the third book.
13. You should probably google a recipe for lembas bread.
14. If things get serious, you may want to consider a “one ring” inspired marriage proposal. Or at least get wedding bands engraved with Elvish scripture.
15. Planning a dream vacation is easy – since we can’t really go to Middle-earth, we’ll choose the next best thing: Wellington, New Zealand.
16. We have some strong feelings about Liv Tyler, so choose your words carefully. (Arwench stole Glorfindel’s horse and we’re STILL bitter about it!!!!!)
17. When we’re trying to focus, we love to listen to Howard Shore’s music. Or Enya.
18. Walking around barefoot is second nature to us – we’re just embracing our inner hobbits.
19. Lord of the Rings quotes will be part of our daily conversation. We can’t help but exclaim “mushrooms!” every time we’re cooking, or yelling “you shall not pass” while driving.
20. Above all, we’re definitely open to trying new things and being adventurous — after all, adventure is what all of Tolkien’s books are about. 
