40 Thoughts Of A Hypochondriac In A Waiting Room
1. God, I hate the doctor’s office.
2. I seriously think I’ve gotten sicker since I’ve gotten here.
3. Is it me, or is there something in the air?
4. ~Diseases~
5. OMG that guy just sneezed into his hands!
6. Wait, did that little girl just freaking cough into the air?!?!
7. I need to gtfoh NOW.
8. I’m literally going to die in this waiting room.
9. How many people are ahead of me?
10. I can’t ask the receptionist again; I already asked thrice.
11. Ew, why’d I just say “thrice”?
12. This cold is probably getting into my head now, because seriously only a sick person uses “thrice.”
13. I got here 30 minutes early and they STILL haven’t called me in yet!
14. This is NOT okay.
15. I guess I’ll read a magazine.
16. OMG, why are all these magazines awful?!
17. Where’s the Cosmopolitans /other trashy celeb gossip mags?
18. If I’m about to get horrible news, I’d rather spend my last moments indulged in the lives of the rich and reckless.
19. Ugh, I probably really am dying, though.
20. At least that’s what MayoClinic and WebMD told me.
21. I really have to listen to my friends and stop looking up my symptoms on Google.
22. But what if I really do have cataplexy?
23. Is 22 too young to have a will?
24. I’m starting to feel a little faint.
25. That little girl who coughed and didn’t cover her mouth probably infected me!
26. Now all her hella nasty germs are swimming around inside of me.
27. I can actually feel my muscles deteriorating already.
28. OMG I AM dying
29. Even more than I was before!
30. But I’ve barely experienced life!
31. I have so much more I want to do!
32. Is the ceiling spinning?
33. Is the water in here safe to drink?
34. I need to get one of those disease masks.
35. I know people get made fun of for those, but I really think they’re on to something.
36. Wait, what if I have to get a shot?!
37. OMG I hate getting shots!
38. Just kill me now.
39. I literally, like, can’t even deal right now.
40. That’s it, I’m leaving. 
