13 New Ways For White Girls To Spell Caitlin

“Actually, it’s Caitlun, with a ‘u’ at the end,” she said, completely serious and totally unaware that her name was one letter away from being an anagram of ‘lil cunt.’ I sat there staring at her. Here I was, 28 years old, and I was hearing another variant of Caitlin, a name that has been around my entire life yet had somehow escaped formalization. A name that says, “Look at me, I’m incredibly trite but I’m a stickler about the particulars of my banality.”

You would have thought by the time we worked through all the regular iterations starting with K instead of C, the name would have fallen into disfavor, traded out for the much more popular and refreshingly basic MacKenzie, but no, Caitlin and its variants remain. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the more recent Caitlins, all fresh for 2015:

1. Kaitlehn

2. Keightlin

3. Kaytellenne

4. Chaitlamn

5. Chextmixln

6. Chautlaun

7. Khautloon

8. Kha-Al-Ta-Lan

9. Caaaaaaaatln

10. K8LN

11. K8—

12. |<@73|_3|\|

13. Cuntlyn