The 6 Unfortunate Stages Of Being Hangry

Stage 1: You Notice You Haven’t Eaten In A Little While

Depending on your metabolism, work schedule, life choices, general self-control or lack thereof, you know you’ve taken a longer break between meals than you usually do. But you’re in the middle of something right now. So you make a mental note that you haven’t eaten and that you will do so soon. Which is of course your first mistake. You should never ignore that feeling.

Stage 2: The Little While Becomes A Long While

An hour or so has passed from stage one and you know that it’s definitely time to eat. But you’re putting it off just a tiny bit longer. Or so you say to yourself. You’ve fasted before. You tell yourself to think of it as a very short fast and as soon as you’re done with whatever it is you’re doing that’s keeping you from eating, you’re going to go and treat yourself. You tell yourself not to picture any food otherwise you’re going to start crying or screaming. Whichever feels most appropriate depending on where you are.

Stage 3: The Hunger Pangs Become Too Real

At this point your hunger pangs have taken over and you start to feel like something bad is going to happen unless you get some food in you soon. You drink some water to try to fend your hunger off for just a little bit longer. Your feel your brain start to ache a little bit and you know this is one of those food headaches people are talking about. You start working just a little bit faster, and your mouth starts salivating at the mere thought of food. You hope nobody notices.

Stage 4: Irritation

People start to notice there’s something wrong with you. Every question they ask is met by a short, curt answer. You’re no longer even pretending to smile or be comfortable anymore. You start cursing at yourself for not eating a bigger meal the last time you ate. You start thinking of all the possible places around you that you could get snacks from. Nothing comes to mind. You continue in your annoyed silence.

Stage 5: Impatience

People start calling you out on why you’re so sulky and short with them. You do nothing – you say you’re fine. The more they question you, the more you ask them to leave you alone. You no longer have time to do anything but finish whatever it is that’s in front of you, so you can eat. You flat-out start ignoring people and you don’t know how to tell them their mere sight, when you’re in this state of mind, makes you indignant. You begin to see everyone who communicates with you as some kind of villain who is preventing you from eating. Why can’t people just shut up and leave well alone?

Stage 6: Rage

You’ve lost all grip on reality. You completely forget about whatever it is you’re doing. Whatever it is, can wait. You’re seeing red. You’re willing to eat anything. Everyone and everything needs to get out of you way. You’ve become a creature unknown, a traitorous beast who will destroy anything that comes near your path. You’re going to eat, bloody hell, you’re finally going to eat. Being hangry brings out the worst in you.