The Differences Between Thinking With Your Head, Your Heart And Your Private Parts
All too often, these three things have entirely different motives with conflicting interests. It's like taking advice from a by-the-book police officer, a fun Uncle who'd let you sip his beer at 13, and an adult film star all at once.
All too often, these three things have entirely different motives with conflicting interests. It’s like taking advice from a by-the-book police officer, a fun Uncle who’d let you sip his beer at 13, and an adult film star all at once.
Your head will be thinking of cheap, greasy deliciousness, and rightfully so. Meanwhile your heart is being all lame and considerate as usual, while your privates want you to reunite with your friends, but only so you can brag about the number that you just used your final bit of battery saving.
It’s like private parts work the nightshift, and they tend to disregard the future for immediate satisfaction. Head and Heart become like off duty sheriffs who are out of their jurisdiction anyway.
*100 emoji + A-OK emoji + check mark emoji*
Privates will suggest that Head and Heart might have a point, but this is just a test of your friends’ loyalty, to see if they get angry at you for choosing your crush over them. Your Privates think this is logical enough to numb the guilt and shame you should be feeling.
Head and Heart know how poorly this could/will end, but Privates are convinced that all the stuff happening before the end might make it worth it. It’s like eating raw cookie dough regularly. You might get Salmonella, but it’s so delicious that you’re willing to risk a little vomiting and diarrhea or whatever in the near future. 
Graphics designed by Alannah McNally.
