10 Ways To Be The Fun Girl Every Guy Wants To Be With

Not to say that Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t a lovely and caring person, but I wouldn’t include her in a list of women I’d want to go out to brunch with.

By Debra Smouse

Updated 10 years ago, August 25, 2014

Producer’s Note: Have you ever wondered what it’s like to that fun girl? YourTango knows. Check it out below.

Have you heard the news that our favorite “Cool Girl” Jennifer Lawrence has a new beau? It just came out this weekend that she’s been seen canoodling with the recently consciously uncoupled “Coldplay” front man, Chris Martin (we don’t totally approve).

Some of my friends were quick to comment on the typical “guy ditches wife and dates younger woman” aspect, but that’s not what brought JLaw to Chris’s attention. My best guess?

JLaw knows how to have fun.

Sure, we all need to be serious sometimes, but goodness, Gwyneth appears to be wound a little tight. Yes, JLaw is beautiful and attractive. Yes, she is younger than Gwyneth. But JLaw has demonstrated that even in the most serious situations, you have to be able to laugh.

Not to say that Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t a lovely and caring person, but I wouldn’t include her in a list of women I’d want to go out to brunch with. She’s just so serious, and though she has a lovely smile, she never looks like she’s having any fun.

Honestly, we couldn’t even enjoy much of a traditional brunch with Gwyneth due to her strict gluten-free vegan diet. But JLaw? She’s game to enjoy the eggs benedict, share some of those duck fat donuts and a mimosa.

The number one things clients tell me after a divorce? They want to be able to love life and laugh again. And that is probably what attracted Martin to JLaw. He wants to be in a relationship with someone that has a great work ethic, yet doesn’t take everything so seriously.

After a divorce, we all want to move forward and create a new life. But it’s hard to do that when you take everything so seriously. Here are ten tips on how to loosen up.

1. Laugh. Watch silly animal videos on YouTube. Watch a comedy. Tell corny jokes. Loosen up and learn to laugh. Laughing more reminds your body and your mind that life isn’t always serious.

2. Be mindful about what you put into your body, but don’t take it to extremes. Food is meant to be enjoyed and savored. If you get so wrapped up micromanaging your intake, it’s hard to have fun. YES, I know that some folks really do have food allergies and it’s nothing to take lightly. But, baby, you don’t have to make every meal a serious business.

3. Speaking of our bodies, stop trying to burn calories and find something physical you enjoy doing. Ride your bike. Go for a walk. Play a game of hoops. Going to spin class, yoga or Pilates is all fine and good if you enjoy it. But if you don’t like it, then it’s going to make you cranky. Finding a way to move your body that’s fun will remind you that life is meant to be lived and experienced — not regimented.

4. And while we’re on the topic of our bodies, go to bed already. Did you know that sleep deprivation will make you cranky? When you’re tired and cranky, of course you’re going to be able to have fun with life. All those posts of Facebook will be there tomorrow. And that email? It will be, too. Make sure you get enough sleep so that you can put your energy toward playing, not staying awake.

5. Rules are made to be broken. If you live your life by following a strict set of rules, of course you’re going to be wound a little tight. There’s a big difference between laws and rules. Don’t box yourself into a tiny space with loads of rules. If the rules are holding you back from being the sexiest, shiniest, most amazing version of who you are, then maybe they’re optional.

6. All work and no play make you a dull person. A good work ethic is important, but take a tip from JLaw here, too. When she isn’t working, she’s hanging out with friends, shopping and having fun. Grab a friend and play a game. It’s not about who wins or what your score is; it’s about the camaraderie and laughter that happen when you play a game with a friend. Go ahead and photo bomb your best friend.

7. Allow yourself to Feel ALL of your emotions. If you’re busy numbing yourself and trying not to feel those icky emotions, then you can’t really feel the good stuff either. There’s no such thing as selective numbing. So, if you feel like having a good cry? Cry. I promise you it will help you loosen up!

8. Stop trying to be perfect. Trying to be perfect is nothing short of exhausting.

9. Sometimes, you just have to chill. Kick back and binge watch “Orange is the New Black.” Hang out in your jammies all day and read a book. Hang out in bed all day. JLaw admits loving TV and chilling. Gwyneth doesn’t let her kids watch TV unless it’s in French or Spanish.

10. Meet a new beau? Relax and enjoy dating! Hold hands. Talk. Laugh. Flirt. Connect. Make out like you’re in high school. Don’t start planning the wedding after the first date. Relax and allow things to progress.

Though some of us may never be “The Cool Girl,” we can take a page from JLaw’s book. Loosen up, laugh, enjoy your food (and life). It will make you a happier person and, even if you don’t attract a rock star, learning not to take things so seriously will make your love life more rewarding too.