14 Signs You’ve Become A Cynical Beast Waiting To Unleash Hell

1. You think, “They’re probably doing it to meet someone,” when your co-worker says they spend time volunteering at an animal shelter.

2. When someone asks you if you want to go out, you say no — because you know they’re going to cancel last minute.

3. If you’re asked to do something, your first thought is, “They’re passing off useless work to me.”

4. You have no respect for them because they’ve never earned it in the first place.

5. People tell the most awful stories, when all they need are a few choice words.

6. The first thing out of your mouth when you’re asked a question is, “Ugh.”

7. You doubt everything and anything you hear until you do your own research.

8. You roll your eyes when you overhear how much money they’ve spent last night — cynics love to be tight with their money.

9. You hate them for reading that “terrible” book that’s been on the bestseller list for over three months — it’s a crap book and no one should read it, right?

10. When you get a wedding invitation from someone you knew a long time ago, your first thought is, “Is she wealthy?”

11. You for some odd reason, hate Seth Rogen and despise any movie that he is in. Anytime someone mentions a movie with him in it, you say, “He’s a terrible actor,” and “I really hated that one movie he was in…”

12. You refuse to try anything new because it will only let you down. “‘Built to last?’ More like, ‘Built to last until the warranty expires.'”

13. You think your co-worker only complimented you so that they can ask for a favor from you next time.

14. Ugh, you hate hipsters because “they’re all trust-fund babies with nothing to do.” And you hate anything that remotely resembles anything hipster-ish, whatever that is.