We Need To Apply The N-Word Rule To Child Porn

Here’s what doesn’t protect children: registering them as a sex offender because they took a picture of their dick.

By

Shutterstock
Shutterstock

By now, I’m sure most of you have read about the case in northern Virginia concerning the 17 year old boy that sent dick pics to his 15 year old girlfriend. If you haven’t, here’s the rundown: a 15 year old girl sent her 17 year old boyfriend nudes. In turn, the 17 year old sent her pictures of his dick. The girl’s parents found the dick pics, and reported the kid to police. The police arrested the 17 year old and charged him with possession and manufacture of child pornography. They take him down to the station, book him, and subsequently pull down his pants to take their own pictures of his dick for evidence.

Now, the limp dick pictures weren’t enough for the cops, and until the internet outrage machine put pressure on the police department, the cops’ plan was to obtain a court order allowing them to drag the kid to a hospital, inject him with some sort of boner-inducing medicine, and take even more pictures of his penis (this time erect) for court. Luckily the Prince William County police were harassed enough online that they decided to bail on the Viagra plan.

But, really, the whole story was fucked up from the get go, and if weren’t for the inclusion of the plan to produce child pornography in an effort to charge a child with possession of child pornography, this story probably wouldn’t have garnered as much attention as it has. There’s numerous cases where teens are being arrested for possession of child porn after they take naked photos of themselves. What the fuck is that?

I get it. The teens are fucking, you have to do something to stop it. But, we all know damn well you can’t stop the teens from fucking. The sad part is, in an increasingly secular world, adults don’t have much of a reason to “protect” teens from fucking anymore. They just think that’s what adults are supposed to do. Sure, there’s issues with disease and pregnancy, but I’m a grown fucking woman and I’m probably more reckless now sexually than I ever was as a teenager. I only use condoms when I’m feeling nostalgic. It’s like having sex on vinyl – almost literally. All you can really do is educate them of potential consequences and wish them luck. That’s really all the protection you can offer.

Here’s what doesn’t protect children: registering them as a sex offender because they took a picture of their dick. Fucking up their ability to find employment in the future. Branding them with a scarlet letter because they did something you absolutely would have done if you had a dick picture machine in your pocket back in the 80s.

For child pornography to even be a crime, there has to be a victim. In the usual instances of kiddie porn, the kind you imagine when you hear about it, the victim is whatever poor exploited child was lured into a basement with candy and Nintendo. In the case of a 17 year old who took a picture of his own dick – you have to make the argument that the kid somehow is victimizing himself.

That’s why we need to adopt the n-word policy when it comes to child pornography. What I’m saying is; if you’re victimized by it, you’re allowed to use it. And if you’re a 35 year old white man, you sure as shit better not be caught dead with it.

Make it so that teens can take and send nudes to each other without the fear of anything worse than getting the shit slapped out of them by a parent. And if an adult gets hold of those nudes? Then it’s a crime. But horny teens shouldn’t be locked up for acting exactly how they are supposed to act.

The best part about legalizing child porn for children is that it would frustrate and anger pedophiles, to the point that they would speak out, and at that point we could identify and shame them like we do with racists.

One of the best things about the n-word is how mad white people get when they lament the fact that they can’t say it.

“It’s not fair!” yells a middle aged white man at a family dinner that’s taken a turn for the worse. “How come they get to say it but I can’t? I can’t say a word? I pay taxes!”

And just like that, without a black person even being in the room, a white family’s meal has been ruined and a white wife has potentially considered divorce. All because of the power of the n-word.

Imagine the same father now, hearing about two 15 year olds cyber fucking on Snapchat. His face turns red. He moves the asparagus away from his mouth and back down to his plate as his anger boils over. He cries out, “WHY CAN’T I JUST JACK OFF TO KIDS? THEY CAN DO IT? WHY CAN’T I?”

And with that, a pedophile is outed, he loses his family and possibly his job and it didn’t require the police or any sort of fucked up sting operation by the USPS. We just harnessed the power of perceived double standards and used them against an oppressor. That’s the solution we need.

Let the kids make their damn porn, it’s not hurting anyone. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Nicole Mullen

Just a fun mom and a teacher at a retarded school. I like recipes and my kids.