23 Mildly Irrational Things Every Girl Has Done At Least Once In Her Life

1. Worn the shoes she knew she A) could not walk in for more than 2 blocks and B) was going to regret come midnight, only to begin begging people for piggyback rides or contemplating risking tetanus and going barefoot.

2. Thought to herself, “Yay! I’m not pregnant!” during that time of the month, even though she hadn’t even had the requisite sex necessary to facilitate said preggo eggo.

3. Called in sick to work because of her period.

4. Rechecked a crush’s tweets, Facebook timeline, or Instagram feed to make sure she didn’t accidentally like anything while creeping.

5. Done the thing where you just sorta smudge and smear the makeup you forgot to take off the night before (oops!) around with fresh makeup and call it a “lived-in smoky eye.”

6. Handed her phone to a friend and said, “here, you do it,” when it comes to crafting the perfect text to a romantic interest.

7. Freaked out because she was a full 40 minutes late to take her birth control pill because ohmygodmyphonewasonsilentandIdidnthearthealarm.

8. Coveted a pair of shoes 100,000 miles outside of her price range.

9. Paired up her first name with her favorite celebrity’s last name, because hey, a girl can dream.

10. Done mental gymnastics to make sure that 8 hours has not yet passed, thereby reassuring herself that she has not, in fact, contracted TSS.

11. Bought, worn, or otherwise contorted herself into a pair of control-top Spanx.

12. Noticed that her voice goes up a whole three octaves whenever she talks to someone she has a crush on, and her sentences always end in question marks?

13. Chopped off her hair, only to live in the perpetual limbo that is waiting for one’s hair to grow back. (Repeat ad nauseam.)

14. Didn’t just wait for someone to text her back, but kept the window open to see the little ellipses pop up.

15. Decided that she’s kind of into her ex again the minute she learned that they were in a new relationship.

16. Squealed over a baby animal.

17. Agreed to go somewhere or do something simply because there was a rumor that her crush might be there.

18. Told someone she’s “not really into labels” in the hopes of wielding really impressive reverse psychology, thereby proving that she is the ultimate in Put A Ring On It™ material.

19. Combed her hair for the first sign of any gray, before deciding “eh, screw it,” and either: A) buying a box of dye, or B) leaving those little hairs there like the tiger stripes and battle scars they are.

20. Went to the store and bought things for “the next few days” while totally knowing she would immediately go home and proceed to eat all the good stuff in front of the TV until she succumbed to the inevitable food coma.

21. Cried a little bit to a boy band love song that just gets her RIGHT in the feels, only to subsequently blame it on PMS (even if that’s not for another 2 weeks).

22. Bought something for herself while she was buying someone else a present because she worked really hard and she earned it, and she firmly believed in that moment that you ought to #treatyoself accordingly.

23. Identified with an absurd and clearly fabricated quote by a pop culture icon that she still found, for all its falsity, empowering — and in that moment, everything was that one graphic she saw on Tumblr and nothing hurt.