Michael Jackson: Dead, But Still Touring

It is a testament to Michael Jackson’s work ethic that nearly five years after his death, he continues to tour.

Whereas most musicians would take death as a sign that it was time to slow down and smell the roses, the King of Pop continues to entertain and enthrall audiences worldwide with his “Immortal” tour—an electrifying multimedia performance that is undeniably live, although Michael Jackson is, technically, dead.

The tour has been going full-steam since October of 2011—a mere 16 months after his death, most of which was undoubtedly spent in rehearsal—and is now rated as the ninth top-grossing concert tour in history. This exciting and lively joint venture between his estate and Cirque du Soleil—which presumably inherited most of his pet chimps after his demise—is described in an official press release as:

A riveting fusion of visuals, dance, music and fantasy that immerses audiences in Michael’s creative world and literally turns his signature moves upside down….Aimed at lifelong fans as well as those experiencing Michael’s creative genius for the first time, the show captures the essence, soul and inspiration of the King of Pop, celebrating a legacy that continues to transcend generations.

It indeed captures his soul and transcends generations, as any good postmortem concert tour should do. It has also captured at least $340 million in worldwide revenue, making Jackson one of the world’s wealthiest deceased celebrities.

According to Wikipedia, here’s some of the live action you can expect should you decide to plunk down the $100+ necessary to see this performer revivified long after his expiration date:

The Mime awakens the inhabitants….Five fanatics take pictures of the audience and try to get into the gates of Neverland….Welders perform on motorized cables….Mime gains the talents of Michael and performs beatbox….Hip-hop dance choreography with basketballs….Artists descend onto the stage with glowing red hearts.

I dare you to find another entertainment experience hinging around a dead celebrity that incorporates mime, welding, and choreographed basketballs. I didn’t even mention that there are also bat costumes and “Gangster types [that] have 3D-printed surreal guns that shoot pyrotechniques [sic] when the triggers are pulled.”

Michael Jackson’s music has always been “gangster”—a gritty, authentic, anthropological reflection of the hardships and triumphs that urban youth experience all over America in their urban environments as they listen to their urban mating songs. His music is the sound of change, of rebellion, of revolution. He gave a voice to the voiceless and hope to the hopeless and “Jesus Juice” to his young male companions during sleepovers.

I can’t think of anything more tasteful, touching, and inspirational than having your far less talented family members continue to ride your casket for every penny it’s worth long after you die. If I told you I was crying while typing this, you’d probably say that I’m lying.

Although Michael Joseph Jackson may no longer be moonwalking, he continues brazenly dancing from the crypt. Congrats, MJ! Long may you stay dead!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1eYSNJL9wY?feature=player_detailpage&w=584&h=328%5D