30 Great Ways To Hold Yourself Together After A Breakup

1. Duct tape.

2. Electrical tape.

3. Painter’s tape.

4. Mixed tapes.

5. Scotch tape.

6. Scotch.

7. Glue.

8. Squish between two people in a really crowded subway car.

9. Rope.

10. Bungee cords.

11. Paper clips.

12. Staple your clothing to itself while you’re wearing it.

13. A serum to strengthen your ribs and prevent others from ripping out your heart.

14. Laser skin tightener to better contain your emotions.

15. Pile bricks on top of your body at night so that the chaotic weightlessness of your psychic and corporeal sorrow doesn’t finally just fling you upward through the atmosphere and out into deep space.

16. A vice.

17. Many vices.

18. Nap between the balusters of a staircase.

19. Rubber cement.

20. A cute belt.

21. A Trapper Keeper.

22. Bookends.

23. Rubber bands.

24. Bobby pins.

25. Wire.

26. Binge-watching The Wire.

27. Crime Scene Tape.

28. Heavy-duty spiritual adhesive, or if you can’t find any, just use a funky brooch.

29. Double Spanx.

30. The hands of another.