The 6 Step Guide To Finding (And Keeping) The Love Of Your Life

1. Wake up and start living!

One of the biggest mistakes many people make is to daydream about their goals in life, instead of taking action, no matter the field of your life we’re talking about — love, work, whatever. The only way you’ll ever accomplish your dreams and will find true love in your life is by stopping that attitude of procrastination. Stop dreaming! Life is waiting for you! Go out more, put yourself out there, be proactive in your life and you’ll be proactive in your love life, too.

2. Open your eyes.

We tend to believe we have to search far and beyond to find love. We think we need to meet lots of people, and go out to bars, parties, and other events to maximize the number of possibilities to find someone. I personally traveled half of the world, only to find love literally at my doorstep — he was ringing my door bell to meet with my housemate, how ironic!

Sometimes love can be found right in front of your eyes, on your neighborhood, your city, or village. Instead of trying to meet as many people as you possibly can, try to set your intention into quality over quantity. If you do what you love, chances are good you’ll find people who share the same passions and dreams.

3. Don’t be a doormat.

Learn to stand up and speak your truth. Say no to things that make you feel uncomfortable. I guarantee your partner will be much more impressed and proud of having someone by their side who is always honest and true to themselves, rather than someone who lacks a backbone and simply complies with anything.

Negotiate boundaries, set up a few rules. Make sure the dynamic of your relationship empowers you. Habits begin to form even in the first months of a relationship, so make sure you start on the right foot by creating healthy ones. When the fire of passion cools down, it won’t be so funny to pick up the wet towel from the top of the bed, to wash the piles of dirty dishes in the sink by yourself, or put up with the smoke in the living room. Remember it’s easier to create healthy habits than to change the old ones.

4. Don’t bond over your wounds.

Broken people — those with big, gaping empty holes in their hearts and souls — tend to bond with others going through the same situations. Some people tend to bond over each other’s pain and traumas. Do yourself a favor and don’t get involved with someone who wants a parental figure or a friend more than they need a partner. People who are overloaded with issues will carry their baggage into the new relationship and you’ll have to deal with it, whether you want it or not.

The best partner is one who’s ready to love you and take you as you are, flaws and all. They shouldn’t be aiming to “fix you” or ask you to fix them, either. Search for someone with the potential to empower you and take you to the next level. If the person you just met is going through a very unstable period, wait a bit and be a friend for a while until they are ready to love you fully.

5. Be strategic.

The places you hang out at and the way you behave will determine the type of people you’ll meet. Keep in mind what type of partner you want. Make a list of priorities you seek in a relationship and try to figure out where you’d find a person like that. The best and most efficient way to meet someone who shares the same passions and dreams as you is to start doing the things you love. Join that charity work you admire, sign up for that yoga class, take the time for the guitar lessons or simply pack your bags and travel the world if you want to date someone who loves to travel, too.

6. Remember the little things.

After you found the person you believe is your better half, practice the rituals of appreciation and gratitude. Surprise your loved one with a little gesture. You don’t have to buy expensive jewelry or presents, as often, it’s the little things that are way more important than words or material gifts. Take them out tonight just because, write them a love card and let them know how much fun you have when you’re together. Show appreciation with daily little gestures that makes the other feel loved and special. When the roots of your relationship are solid and strong, your love will have a strong base from which to flourish.