The 3 Vices In The Social Mediaverse

Have you ever encountered certain people that made you notice a significant gap between the realities that both of you experience, that it is so difficult to find ways to align your lifestyles, beliefs, expectations, etc.? More specifically, have you encountered people on social media who you can’t help but just put that “huh” face on, shake them by the shoulder (in your head), and snap them out of the bubble that they live in? Well, I have.  My radar for them is too acute for my own mental well-being.  So I have now brought it upon myself to bitch about them relentlessly distinguish these people in order to alleviate my irritation, in hopes to create a sense of community among those who can identify with me and more importantly, to remediate this.

1. I will name the first sub-species of these people the “Cloud People”. Everyone’s been on social media long enough to have seen those inspirational(ly stupid) quotes about how they refuse to be confined by reality and live in the clouds and no one can get them to live otherwise. It’s this “I’m such a free sprit I live with no boundaries, watch me prance through the meadow of life with a Lana del Rey rose headband and see how much less of a fuck I can give”. It’s so dramatic, so bold and for some people, you know it’s also so full of shit.

Most of the times, these people are trying to propagate an image of who they want to be and most importantly, how they want to be perceived by others.  Stop trying to be something that appears to look good on paper, just be. If you’re a free spirit, you won’t need a quote to show this, people will know.

You can call me the pessimist – I certainly do – or a Debbie Downer, but don’t be mistaken, I am not devoid of dreaminess. There are many a time when I feel like I don’t have my bearings and get lost in the now and sometimes it feels good to be a little detached from reality, but it’s not something to publicize the way these people do. It’s not meant to be sexy. It’s just life.  So please do us all a favor and stop because the only place we have for this fake ass loosey-goosey frolicky vibe is in a Whisper’s commercial for heavy-flow pads.

2. The second sub-species are, for the lack of a better term: “Attention Whores” (seriously, there is no better term).  These are the overly publicly emotional kids who make their business e v e r y o n e’ s business. Perhaps the whole point of social media is to provide a platform for this public display of emotion, but still there are some things I definitely think are better left off the Internet.  I don’t need to know the recent tally of girls your boyfriend cheated on you with, or how upset you are about something that you don’t have any intention of revealing.  It seems as though social media has sensationalized heartbreak and “depression” even more than it had before with films, to a point where people might WANT to be sad just so they can tweet about it.  They call it your private life for a reason. It’s meant to be…you guessed it….p r i v a t e.

3. And last but certainly not least, the third sub-species: the “Soul Searchers” – those who want to “find themselves” or go #soulsearching. Where do I begin? I will start off by saying, I totally believe that people find themselves, and that soul searching is real. It happens without a doubt, but often from the most unlikely circumstances, sources and times. It occurs when you don’t expect it and I personally feel like the surprise factor is the best part (or the worst part if what you find isn’t flattering). It feels profound because it is so subjective to the point it feels like the experience was tailored down to every living cell in your being and because it sneaks up on your life in ways that only you can detect.

What it isn’t, is something you can literally go find or search. It is not a trip away to Bali; it is not doing yoga at the break of dawn everyday; and it is not going away to do charity work.  If you think doing charity is the answer to all your problems, I can confidently say that the greatest charity at this point is probably to yourself, which involves eradicating the belief that yourself is somewhere else, to be found.  But don’t get me wrong here, it’s not in my place to say that these activities have not and will not work for people; I’m saying that when they do, it is probably not premeditated

Perhaps it’s just me, but it sounds so superficial. We don’t all live in an “Eat, Pray, Love” world, because for some of us, it’s not about eating different foods, meditating and falling in love with Javier Bardem (okay maybe it is).  For most, the process is nothing short of agonizing until you come to an enlightening realization about yourself.  I’m not opposed to people finding new ways to expand their horizons; I’m opposed to people using grand phrases like “soul searching” to represent something they vaguely think they want, probably because it sounds grandiose. If flying away on a spa retreat were the answer to people’s problems, then the world would be a much better place filled with much happier people, and smoother too of course…

So don’t say you “found yourself” through your soul-searching journey to the sauna. It doesn’t bring justice to how people actually find themselves, which isn’t like an iPhone you lost and picked up again. It’s disjointed, a work in progress, and also the best part about it.  But in general for everyone, I sincerely hope you gain clarity in one way or another. I’m not bashing the idea of acquiring the clarity that I personally crave and need, just some people’s idea of how it is attained and its objectification.

Here, I know people who can identify with me will be slapping their thighs and shouting “YES..these people are so annoying”. And those who can’t will just look bewildered or call me a hater, to which I say, you can take that accusation and shove it up your…just kidding, I kinda am. Nonetheless, I stand by my beliefs, and there’s nothing you in your mud wrap nonchalantly tweeting about your latest heartbreak can do to stop me.