Will You Love Me?
Will you stand by me if I grow old and tired, or begin to wither away before your eyes before i'm ready.
By Shawn Binder
Will you lay next to me in bed when the weather is cold, and stay five extra minutes even though the alarm goes off because I want you to hold me just a little bit longer? And will you sit on the couch and laugh as you watch me burn the meals i’ll attempt to cook for you while I dance around in my underwear?
I hope that you will bring me saltines and my favorite type of gatorade when I catch food poisoning like I so often do. I hope you’ll shake your head, laugh, and tell me how sensitive my stomach is. I hope you will remind me to take my medication, and gently tease me on the days I forget and spend the afternoon clutching my stomach.
Will you want to see the world with me? And collect pennies and quarters and place them in a jar on top of my dresser titled “rainy day fun.” Will we jet set off to Paris, Germany, and China together when our funds allow it and when we feel wanderlust coursing through our veins. Will you never be complacent with the things you already know and the places you’ve already seen?
And will you be ambitious for yourself, and never just for me? Pushing yourself to always want more from this life because you’ll see in yourself the exact reason that I fell in love with you- your unlimited potential. Will you go after that promotion, or job that will make you happy, or quit a job you hate and not worry yourself sick at how I’ll handle it? Because we’ll always figure it out.
Will you kiss me even on the nights you don’t want to? On the nights when i’ve pushed all the right buttons on you and you’d rather curl up on the couch and watch HGTV, will you still gently squeeze my hand? On the days where I am tired and ornery and snap at you in a Yankee Candle because I have a headache, I can only wish that you will help weather my moods. Will you make love to me even on the nights you’re not exactly in the mood because you know how close it makes me feel to you.
Before I see your parents for the first time and we’re cruising down the highway in your car to meet them for brunch, will you blast 80s hits and sing off-key to help calm my nerves. Will you pull me into a group hug with your mother when we finally get there. Will you hold my hand under the table the entire time?
And I don’t know what death means exactly, but I know i’d rather learn about it with you than with anyone else. I know i’d rather you hold my hand and help guide me through as the people around us age, grow sick, and soon become a collection of haphazardly constructed memories. Will you stand by me if I grow old and tired, or begin to wither away before your eyes before i’m ready?
Will you be my friend first and foremost and understand that I don’t like romantic comedies and rarely like to go out on a Tuesday night? And will you put in all the man hours and effort love takes to ignite, feed, and survive. Will you do all these things not out of a sense of duty, but because you love me and because you want me?
I only ask you these things, because I know that I will.