8 Unforgivable Coffee Shop Pet Peeves

1. NO WIFI.

Is it wrong for me to expect for every cafe to have wifi access? Who else are they getting most of their revenue from? Stressed-out students that need to do work and stay up late (preferably not at home). That’s who.

2. Spotty wifi.

Nothing worse than going to a cafe, having already bought your coffee, taking 20-25 minutes to access the wifi, and have it turn off on you at the most unexpected and inconvenient moments. The worst part is that you can’t leave because you have an entire cup of unfinished coffee in front of you, and it’s too damn hot to chug.

3. Wifi by the hour.

You’re already charging us $4 for a latte. You’re charging us for internet access too?? BLASPHEMY.

4. Same music on loop.

Come on, there’s more to great coffee shop music than looping through the same Regina Spektor album. Jazz works too, you know.

5. No seats.

Or worse, after much effort, discovering ONE wide-open spot just for you, then realizing an obscure bag dangling on the chair frame. You ask if the seat is taken. It is.

Even worse: realizing that he/she has been saving that spot for over 2 hours now, and you’re stuck miserably slouching on a stool facing the window, with barely enough room to think … and for your espresso if you’re lucky.

6. Early closing times.

Living in a college town, I’ll never understand why there isn’t a single coffee shop here open past 2am that isn’t filled with crazies and loud, delusional undergrads.

Worse: cafes that close by 8pm. On weekdays.

7. No cute baristas.

Because let’s be real, that’s part of the reason why we STAY in cafes for any longer than we actually need to.

8. Cash only.

I know I should carry some cash around in case of emergencies. But I don’t. Have pity on me, accept my debit card and give a cranky morning customer his coffee. THAT’S ALL I ASK. :(