12 Reasons Why Being Lactose Intolerant Sucks

1. Having to be that jerk at restaurants who holds everything up by asking the waiter a million questions about whether certain dishes contain dairy.

2. Going to anyone’s house for dinner (especially a friend’s parents) and seeming rude when you don’t eat something that you physically can’t.

3. Feeling like a jerk when your best friend buys you a frappachino because you have a sore throat and telling them you can’t drink it in the hopes that they’ll take the frappachino and drink it themselves but instead they just feel guilty and apologize to you a million times.

4. Having people ask you what happens when you eat dairy…

5. Not being able to eat the free food at every college meeting ever, aka the pizza they order for every event.

6. Seeming picky or overly conscious of your weight to anyone who doesn’t know you’re lactose intolerant.

7. No longer being able to go with you dad to the ice cream parlor on hot summer nights, or going because you don’t want to spoil his fun and having to order sorbet.

8. Having to eat before any event (including going on airplanes) where you don’t know the menu or risk going hungry.

9. On first dates having to reveal this very embarrassing gastrointestinal detail about yourself when your date tries to order for you, asks you to split something, or offers you a bite of their dairy laden dish.

10. Having to find something to order besides pizza at the local drunk eatery because all local drunk eateries are pizza places. Oddly enough though, many have hummus…

11. Finding an alternate to mac-and-cheese that is just as cheap and easy to prepare.

12. No Ben and Jerry’s breakup binge. Or eating it anyways to numb the pain and then having a stomach ache in addition to a broken heart.