The 8 Best Things About Being Single

1. You are more emotionally stable

I believe in the law of effect.  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  The extent to which you love is directly proportional to the extent to which you hate IF things were to go awry.  Like John Legend says, Love hurts sometimes when you do it right…but if you do it wrong, be prepared for a world of hurt.  I am actually quite shocked by how intense my feelings were while in relationships.  The highs were so high and the lows so low.  Being single though—you’re just kinda ALRIGHT, ALL the time.  Single people are not ecstatic or blissful, but not depressed nor a black hole, empty within and sucking the life force out of friends.

2. You are fully emancipated

If you’re in a relationship, you have to be considerate about who you talk to because there is exclusivity that comes with being in a relationship.  But when you’re SINGLE you can float freely to the ends of the earth like a butterfly, gallantly gallivanting with other butterflies that happen to be single and ready to mingle as well.

3. You can watch the movies you actually want to watch

If you don’t care about the contents of Ryan Gosling’s Notebook in THE NOTEBOOK, you don’t have to watch THE NOTEBOOK. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.  Bring on Fight Club, Transformers, Terminator 2, and Die Hard 1 2 3 4 5. YIPPIE KIE YAY MOTHER##$*#&$.

4. You can show up to dinner in Basketball Shorts and flip flops after a workout

Sometimes you just don’t want to hear: “Babe, are you really wearing that to go out?” or “You’re so gross right now, do you know that?”  Sometimes, you just want to be comfortable.

5. You can go on dates

Meeting new people is fun. It’s like Costco: samples everywhere. However, being in a relationship can grow stale like chips and salsa. Isn’t variety the spice of life?

6. You own EVERYTHING

The cat, the fridge, the camcorder, the IPAD, and even the chips and salsa are all yours!   And your heart is solely yours as well, making you impervious to the complications and maladies that come with a relationship.

7. You don’t have to wait for the storm to pass

When you’re single and you get in a fight with your FRIEND, you can just walk away from the storm and probably be friends again after that if you want.  But in a RELATIONSHIP, you can’t just WALK out of the storm.  You’re in this storm together.  Sometimes, YOU GUYS ARE THE STORM.  If you walk out of this storm, who’s driving your drunk ass home? Who are you going to have sex with?  Who is going to give you AA batteries for your shitty outdated mouse when you run out of AA batteries? WHO IS GOING TO OPEN YOUR COOKIE CAR?!?! Are you ready to cook alone?  If you’re single, you can waltz on out of this storm and visit again when the sun’s shining, but if you’re in a relationship and she’s acting kinda cold…prepare yourself, winter is coming.  And you just have to wait it out.

8. You have time for yourself

Sometimes people do things for significant others not because they want to, but because they love them, right?  When you’re single, the most precious commodity on earth: time–is all yours.  I know society says being single is analogous to loneliness, but it could really be an opportunity if you see it as such.  Maybe he won’t be there to open the cookie jars.  Just get strong enough so that you can open them yourself!