10 Things You Come To Realize When Dieting

1. Knowing there are people out there who were “born skinny” and didn’t have to eat like a rabbit or Zumbathon years away to be rid themselves of their unwanted LB’s. They simply just look like that.. as is.

2. Being fully aware that in weak moments you would rather have a piece of pizza than have sex.

3. Seeing people eat ANYTHING they want without any repercussions is a little soul crushing. I.E. People who don’t mentally convert how many minutes on the treadmill that piece of cake would cost them.

4. The amount of sheer self-hatred you have when you are on the treadmill…trying to burn off that piece of cake.

5. Salad really kind of sucks, no matter how much you tell yourself you like it.

6. Diets would be so much easier if alcohol had no calories.

7. The fact that NOTHING is instant…It’s the whole “marathon not a sprint” thing. I’d really rather just lose the twenty pounds by tomorrow, thanks.

8. Way too many things revolve around food, birthdays…holidays…seasons…tell me you haven’t been salivating thinking about Pumpkin Muffins and Candy Corn lately?

9. Healthy food is a shit ton more money than the bad stuff. You step into a Whole Foods and your bank account is immediately down a hundred bucks.

10. Diets literally just suck. There is absolutely nothing fun about watching your friends eat good food when you’re pretending your “fist size” portion of chicken is doing it for you, OR the fact that you know exactly how many calories are in a margarita. If we can put men on the moon and make cameras the size of peanuts- then we can probably figure out a way to just VOID out calories we consume, no?