With This Note, The Crazy Girlfriend Bar Has Officially Been Raised

Not unlike that stern high school teacher who gave the class clown a week’s worth of detention on the first day, it’s the first blast that really sets the tone here. There is to be no looking. No looking at all. Not even at that nice table that’s abandoned on the other side of the street, that’d really improve the outside reading setup.

This is quite the poor (#4), video game-less (#5), and visually deprived boyfriend (again, #10). Then again, he may very well be much, much happier than all of us. Remember, impossible is nothing. (Though impossible might also be following this list.)