26 Things I Wanted To Say To The Loud Girl On Her Phone At Starbucks
- Please, I beg you, shut up.
- Must you use Starbucks as your personal living room?
- The only reason why I’m not moving away from you is because there is literally no other spot but this one and I’ve already been to three other coffee shops.
- Your laugh makes me want to punch puppies.
- Did you decide that today was the day that you would make a phone call to every single person on your phone?
- Are you oblivious to all the dirty stares that everyone is giving you?
- No one and I mean no one in this place cares about where your next apartment is going to be.
- I will give you $75 to stop calling people.
- I will buy you a Starbucks treat and coffee for an entire week if you shut up.
- You’re wearing 8 different colors right now and it’s not fabulous. Also, could you stop talking?
- You know that person who everybody hates because they’re loud and obnoxious but they think they’re cool? You’re that person.
- Are you on the phone with your therapist?
- WHY MUST YOU TALK IN CAPS?
- Your life is not that interesting.
- Your voice hurts my brain.
- Congratulations! You’ve surpassed Kim Kardashian as my least favorite person on the planet.
- Emotional IQ really isn’t your thing, is it?
- The baristas despise you too.
- Are you always this inconsiderate?
- Don’t take this the wrong way but you’re a really terrible person.
- Has anyone ever told you that your voice is the absolute worst?
- What have I done to you to deserve this?
- If you say, “OMG” one more time….
- Are you actually on the phone with anyone?
- I apparently need to work on my bitch face.
- Today is one of those days that I’ve lost faith in humanity. You are the reason.