25 Best Hipster Buzzwords In ‘New York Times’ “Hipsturbia” Piece

The New York Times recently ran yet another trend piece on those damn hipsters, this time covering the apparently-actually-a-thing “hipsters invading suburbia.” The piece is called “Creating Hipsturbia,” a title that made me think of Rihanna’s “Disturbia” and a nonexistent Todd Solondz movie about deeply alienated, meth-smoking suburban hipsters who go around terrorizing the locals.

Anyway, I noticed a consistent tactic in the Times piece, which was to use lots of buzzwords to describe this possibly imaginary hipster suburbia while letting the reader know, with a wink, that these effing hipsters are so effing insufferable, look at what they wear/eat/do.

I have compiled below my favorite buzzword phrases for your enjoyment. Here’s looking at you, writer of yet another New York Times hipster trend piece, Alex Williams.

1. lunch-hour vinyasa classes

2. Dutch-style bikes

3. farm-to-table restaurant

4. edible nasturtiums [Editor’s note: I have no idea what a nasturtium is, edible or otherwise.]

5. monofloral honey produced by nomadic beekeepers in Sicily

6. gluten-free red-velvet cupcakes

7. windows decorated with bird silhouettes

8. heritage-clad novelist type

9. ironic mutton chops

10. shade-grown coffee

11. patisserie

12. statement sneakers

13. urban-zen

14. twee lifestyle

15. bearded mixologists

16. locavore restaurants

17. antler-laden boutiques

18. artisanal vegan soap

19. wheat-paste sloganeering

20. acupuncturist

21. Galapagos Art Space mind-set

22. felted-wool gazelle heads

23. sustainable fish

24. barrel-aged cocktails

25. D.I.Y. hobbies

This article also includes the following quote, from Ari Wallach, a “futurism consultant”: “Hastings-on-Hudson is a village, in a Wittgensteinian sort of way.” Nice.