Drunk Thoughts Vs. Sober Thoughts

When someone asks me to join them on the dance floor and I’m sober, I’m like:

But when I’m drunk, I’m like:

_____

When the bartender gives me a drink on the house and I’m sober, I’m like:

But when I’m drunk, it’s more like:

_____

When it’s unexpectedly last call and I’m sober, I’m like:

But when I’m drunk, I’m more like:

_____

When someone bumps into me when I’m sober, it’s like:

But when I’m drunk, I’m all:

_____

When I’m eating Taco Bell sober, I’m all:

But when I’m drunk, it’s like:

_____

When I’m on the internet and sober, I’m like:

But when I’m drunk, it feels more like:

_____

When someone’s trying to have a ‘deep’ conversation with me about something sober, I can usually hold my own:

But when I’m four drinks in, I’m like:

_____

When I wake up after a sober night, I’m like:

But when I wake up after a night of drinking, I’m like:

_____

When someone asks me if I want any drugs and I’m sober, I’m like:

But when someone offers me drugs and I’m drunk, my brain’s like:

_____

When I run into my ex and I’m sober, I’m like:

But when I’m drunk, it’s more like:

_____

When I’m sober and the friend I’m with doesn’t want to drink either, I’m like:

But when I want to drink and the friend I’m with doesn’t want to drink, I’m like:

_____

When I see my friend hook up with a really hot person, and I’m sober, I’m like:

But when I’m drunk, I’m more like: